Today we were asked how has our grief shifted in the time since our child had died.  We also were to include a photo of a symbol or image that symbolizes our child to us.  Red leaves.  More than anything else red leaves in the fall remind me of Abigail.  I don't see them very often now that we are back in South Florida.  I suppose its because we found ourselves at Niagara Falls just 3 weeks after she was stillborn, and they were everywhere.  The grief has changed a lot since then.  It was once like this think heavy black winter coat that was smothering but couldn't be removed.  Now it is more like this shimmery piece of jewelry, that when viewed close enough is both very pretty and very sad.  I often have days tinged with wistfulness and sorrow, but only rarely do I have the deep, raging painful and angry days.  I try not to dwell on the aspects of our loss that brings that form of grief up.  Grief is a funny thing, like a living garment, like something strange out of the wizzarding world. (I have introduced the kids to the Harry Potter books in the past two weeks.)  Like the red leaves, unbelievable pretty and vibrant, but again they only turn red because they are dead.