This morning we were asked about prized jewelry, and we were encouraged to clear and let go, by getting rid of things that are in our way or prevent us from healing.  I tend to purge around the house quite frequently so I didn't do that today.  However, after a really bad week last week, I needed to clear my mind, put it aside and conquer today.  I needed to come at this week with new eyes and reset, get ready for another school week.  This time of year is hard for me, reminders of Abigail are everywhere.  It's fall, a beautiful time of year, but a time of year for death.  Sometimes I can so vividly remember how much despair I felt while we were at Niagara falls, just weeks after her death.  How lonely I felt when Gary left for Florida and I was alone in PA with the children.  It's just a hard time of year, and last week was rough, I really felt it.  But in those first weeks I also got some very special pieces of jewelry some physical reminders something to hold, something to wear close to my heart all those days that I needed to hold her but couldn't.  I had a special bracelet made, with a hand print, alot of Bible verses, and her name and birthdate.  I was also given a beautiful necklace with alot of special tokens in it in memory of her by my best friend growing up.  Then around the first anniversary of finding out that we were pregnant another very good Church friend gave me a set of rose gold earrings, rose gold is something I associate with Abigail.