Today, we went to the Heart Release on Marco Island organized by StillBirthday.  I have long wanted to attend such an event to honor Abigail's memory.  To be with others who have experienced what we've been through.  To see her name along others, to know that there are many who though unseen are still loved.  Along those lines, today's assignment in CarlyMarie's list, we were encouraged to do something healthy, something to nourish our physical self.  We were also asked to share a photo of supportive family and friends in the photo challenge.


Me and the kids got there early enough to pull out our blanket, and have a picnic lunch next to the graveyard.  We checked out the Angel of Hope, a statue for all parents who have lost a child.  There were probably around 100 bricks around it sharing the names of children, dates, and messages from family.  Britt told me, I never know other people had their brother or sister die.











We met a few other families who were there.  When we met inside the chapel there, we talked about our children.  It was different.  I have written a lot about Abigail, but I've not really told our story out loud.  I have talked about bits and pieces here and there, but this was different.  It was also good to hear others share their stories.  The emotion in their voices, the striking similarities, it made me feel less alone.  There were the names of 10,000 babies written on the little hearts.  That was heart breaking, to think of so many babies lost, so many lives not lived.  There were also more blank hearts.  We were encouraged to hope on line and share this, to ask for anyone else who wanted their names added.  We released some there at the duck pond, most where carried out on a boat to the 10,000 Island near Marco, and released there.





Looking at these 10,000 hearts, some holding the name of more than one child in a family who had been lost.  I also felt frustrated.  I wonder how many other children here died of preventable causes?  I wondered how many other children here could be saved, if only someone out there was studying stillbirth and finding ways to make a difference.  I wondered why in the world people seem to think this isn't a real loss, that it isn't a real death, just the loss of possibility.  I wonder how it is that the whole world doesn't know about and grieve child loss?  We crusade for obscure animals, and argue endlessly about the economy, why can't people get fired up about preventing child loss, why is there no dialogue about this?  I wish I knew of some way to make it a real conversation on a national level, and I wish I knew of a way to change the silence and lack of study around stillbirth.