Today we were asked to consciously chose gratitude in some way, which is always hard when dwelling on the precious lives we've lost, and to share a picture of our most valuable keepsake from our child.  I wish I had her foot prints, hand prints, a lock of hair, anything of her.  But her feet and hands were too small and fragile, and she had not begun to grow hair yet.  The bracelet I have might be the most precious momento of her that I have.  But it could be replace (in fact I already have once).  If the house was on fire and I just had time to grab the one thing, it would be her bunny.  We got it before I got pregnant.  I wanted for it to be a lovey for our next girl.  I had thought about a bunny nursery, in pink and brown.  Nurseries are so fun to plan.  I chose to be grateful for the memories we have and the keepsakes we have.  I recently rewatched all the episodes of Call the Midwife.  And was struck all over again, by the fact that women use to not be allowed to hold their babies or see them.  That it was some how wrong to grieve for them.  In one episode a baby is kidnapped from a mother who previous had a loss.  And she's actually accused of harming the baby because after her losses she was so depressed and unresponsive to others, as if she had no reason to grieve.  I'm so thankful that people aren't like that any more.