I wish ________________________
I wish I could spend the day with Abigail. To see who she is, to watch her with her siblings. To ask her about heaven and the glory and presence of Christ.
I remember _______________________
I remember how much I HATED being there. Hated needing to be there. Hated having to go there. Hated having to stay there. I have never hated hospitals till then. I hated the scare tactics. I hated the policies that aren't there for me, but for their convenience. I hate how to everyone else it was another day at the office, but for me it was the end of the world as I knew it. I might have issues now.
I could not believe _____________________
I could not believe just how tiny she was, and yet perfectly formed. Of course she didn't look like a 40 week old baby, but she was undoubtedly a tiny little human, a tiny individual. Which it turn left me in disbelief that anyone for any reason, could ever justify murdering such a tiny, helpless person.
If only _______________________
If only I could have held her alive. It's sad to confess, but I find that I'm jealous of baby loss moms, who were able to have their children, hold them, and see them alive, before they died.
I am _____________________