Capture Your Grief - Day 11 - Creative Heartwork
There have been several projects that I have done for Abigail, in her memory, for me. Obviously we designed her stone. I have a bracelet that I wear daily, and a neckalace that a friend made me. I have a candle that we light for PAILs day and her birthday. I have colored a number of pictures when I'm missing her, but by far the largest project has been her Christmas stocking.
When we were little my mother cross-stitched stockings for Daddy, her, and us kids. They are really beautiful work. I wanted something similar for our family, but without the work, I was nervous about the idea of taking the finished cross-stitch and making it into a stocking. So I bought some that look like they were cross-stitched. But when Abigail was born, I knew even though she'd never use it that I wanted one for her. I wanted to see her name up there by everyone else, because she is still such an important part of our family. Christmas was hard, since she was due New Year's Eve, and I had hoped she might be born before Christmas.
However, I couldn't find any that I liked, anything for a still born baby. When I found this pattern I knew it was perfect. A pair of cardinals, three geese flying - just like us two and her three older siblings. The sled reminded me of a gravestone, with a country church in the background. The only problem was that the toe of the stocking pointed off to the left. So as I made it I reversed the pattern. It took me about 7 months of working almost non stop to complete it. There were times that I thought I had taken on an impossible project. I worked on it when I was lonely, and sad, and mad, and when I just wanted to hold her. I worked on it, when I wanted to think about her, and when I wanted to think about nothing. And it has hung on a nail in my bedroom ever since I finished it the end of May. I'm looking forward to hanging it up with the others for Christmas, and seeing our family together in a way at least for a time.