(After reading Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day to Britt, I asked him to make up a story about his terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. He insisted that he didn't want to write that kind of story, that he doesn't like when bad things happen to him. So instead he has invented his own story with a new character.)
Mr. Muffin woke up and had very bad sleep. He knew that it would be a terrible, horrible, no good very bad day. He went to school to teach, but was run over on the way, by a fire truck. He barely survived, but he made it to school. Someone opened the door for him, but he was a little too slow, and it hit him in the face. It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
In his office, while he was speaking, one of his students flung a rock at him right in the face with a sling shot. He knew it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good very bad day. He decided to help his head, to go by Steak and Shake and get him a milkshake. But on his way, he was hit by a stampede of cows on the sidewalk. He knew it was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. So, he finally got to Steak and Shake, and he got an M&M milkshake, but it tasted like poop. He knew it was a terrible horrible, no good, very bad day.
So, he said I'm going to find a tree, sit down and build my very own secret hide out so no one can bother me. But, while he was cutting down a tree for wood, it fell down on top of him. When he got up, another tree fell on his toe, making him drop the ax cutting off his leg. Mr. Muffin knew it was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. So, hobbled, dragging his foot down the sidewalk as he goes to the hospital. When he barely got there, there were 1000 people. So when it was finally his turn, there was no more room, and they kicked him out the window.
When he hit the sidewalk his back broke. He knew it was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. So he drug himself home with his hands, but on the way he was run over by a skateboarder, stepped on by a runner, and a dog. When he finally arrived home, mosquitos were out and the were taking all of his blood, until he lost an entire milk jug of blood. Then, his neighbor's cat scratched him up, and a remote control car hit his head and one of his grown up teeth fell out.
While his wife was cooking supper, a pan of hot grease fell on his arm. He knew it was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. So, his wife put him in bed. He told himself maybe I should have went to a hotel. But his wife told him bad things happen even in hotels.