So I'm definitely feeling movement now. I thought I might have felt movement, July 5 and 12. See on Sunday evenings, we typically go stretch out on our bed, flip on the AC and I read aloud to Gary, while the kids have popcorn and a movie in the living room. Since I was still those two times I thought I might be feeling movement. But at just shy of 15 and 16 weeks, I thought it might be early. I know though that I've been feeling movement from the baby this week. Since I've not had the crazy morning sickness it's made it feel a little more real. This baby (and maybe it's just because it's early) isn't as active as the others were, I feel some rolling, but not much else. The baby also seems to prefer my left side, as that is where I usually feel some movement shifting around.

Since I'm having trouble seeing my toes and my belly button is pretty flat, I decided on Sunday it was time for a belly picture. I was 17 weeks and 4 days. Of course I was pleasantly surprised that I don't look that big in them. I'm still hovering around the weight I was when I got pregnant, I'm up a pound, and since apparently weight fluctuates up to 2 lbs a day, that's not really anything.  I'm still tired off and on, but I'm mostly back to my normal self now.  My headaches have mostly gone away too, so I've not been sick since my last report.  Now mostly, any tiredness and headaches are straight up a result of the heat.  We've not had too much heat this summer, but occasionally when it's warm, and I'm somewhere and the air isn't moving much like up at the YMCA for swim lessons I get light headed and feel wore out.  We are really looking forward to our ultrasound coming up in a little more than three weeks.

1. Princesses always keep them dresses clean.
2. Princesses always, always, never ever try to throw away or hide their food somewhere.
3. Princesses doesn't too big of a mess in them room.
4. Princesses doesn't walk through places that are really slippery with mud, because they could slip and get them dress muddy.
5. Princesses always listen to the King.
6. Princesses always dance alot.

I is the Meridia kind of princess, I do whatever I like to do.  She is brave and does whatever her wants to.  I like princess because they like to dance like me.  I twirl like them, not like other kinds of dancers.  Sophie is a princess too, and Snow White is, and Belle.  All princesses really like to dance, and I am a princess that likes to dance.

Two of my grown up teeth, are trying to come in at the bottom.  They are coming in way behind my baby teeth though.  One might be up top too.  I feel excited about grown up teeth, but I wasn't very excited that my baby teeth might need to be pushed out.  Today I went to the dentist, while I was waiting I was going to play wii, but it wasn't working.  The dentist said the teeth would move up and push the baby teeth out.  He called them shark teeth.  I didn't get anything from the treasure box though, since they didn't do anything.  Instead Daddy took me to McDonalds, and I got an oreo blizzard for being so good at the dentist, and I even got something like orange coke in my cup.  I got to make some new friends there too - Cooper and his sister.  I can't wait to loose my teeth, maybe I'll lose three at once, and get three dollars from the tooth fairy.

(Don't know how well you can tell, but they are not coming in in his gum, but just behind it, toward his tongue.  They are nearly all the way in judging from the back of them.  Hopefully after today's visit we won't need to pull them, though I'm not sure if he will lose the baby teeth since they are already nearly in and so far back.  Odds are that he will need braces now, but I'm glad it wasn't something we had to pay for today. -EDMC)

After having a little time for the numbness and shock to wear off, we have regrouped from the reeling news that Gary's position has been eliminated.  It is disappointing to have a job that we hoped to be with for the next 30 years just dry up and disappear.  While still getting a slightly alarmed feeling whenever Gary unexpectedly came home at unexpected times, I had pretty much found a state of normal in our routines.  We have lived in this house for 2 years and 2 months, longer than any place we've been in our married lives, and I have learned my way around.  I haven't made many friends, I'm just not that good at the social thing, outside of Church people I guess, but I have made a few good friends.

I suppose for me the biggest disappointment is that I had begun to dream again about the possibilities of living in this area for the next 30 years.  We have nearly paid off all the debt but our student loans, and while we were still 2-5 years away from looking for our own home, we've had some fun driving around and looking at places for sale, or land and talking about what we might would build.  We had decided rather than be 15 mins north of work we'd rather be 15-20 minutes South, so that we could be closer to Halifax where most of the kids friends are, and be 30 mins or so closer to town, co-op, and Church.

I am frustrated too, in that we tried to be so diligent this year with our finances and planning when to have another child, only to be out of work and pregnant again.  I don't know of anything that I would have done differently, but it's frustrating to attempt to be responsible and it not work out much better.  It just goes to prove despite my OCD, micro managing, and planner obsessed personality, job security is always an illusion.  Self-sufficiency is pretty much the same.

I hurt most though, for Gary who works so hard and never complains, who I know it absolutely killed to have to come and tell me this news again.  I think he's about have prefered anything to having to tell me.

I am a bit sad for the kids.  Britt remembers a few things about Indiana and Florida, Ruth only remembers their fun hiding hole/play space in Indiana.  This is really the only home that they know.  When we told the kids on Thursday, the first thing Ruth said, is that she didn't want to leave our house with her purple room and her bed.  I suppose the worst part of telling Britt was him realizing that it meant no "fiddle lessons" with one of his best friend's mom, we had hoped to let him start in August.  Even since telling them that we probably won't stay in the immediate area, they are talking about playing t-ball together for the Gratz Grizzlies in the spring.

They will survive though, they are resilient little people, and I'm trying to not let our daily routine look much different.  They still have to complete morning chores before they get to eat breakfast, though Daddy does more for their breakfast than I did.  We still have tried to start school by 10 in the morning.  The routine of homeschooling has helped, even though this has just happened.  They have some structure to their days, and I still have a reason to be busy during my mornings.  When they have their free time in the afternoons I sit down with Gary and work on reactivating all the old search engines, and start weeding through likely job positions.

We have done all the initial leg work, contacting the old recruiter, filing for the unemployment that Gary has paid in over the last two years.  Several big ag companies are looking to hire right now.  Southern States Co-op for one is hiring about 50 new positions, we are trying to find the best matches, as we learned last time, that applying for too many positions with one company made them toss you out for all the positions.  Because you didn't seem to have depth in any one area, and you reeked of desperation.  But hey, we were pretty desperate.  haha.

In ways, while still supremely disappointing, this feels a little old hat.  I mean we've been down this road twice before, and if it had to happen again, we've never been this financially secure.  We have a little savings, we've nearly paid off all the old unemployment debt, and we don't plan to use debt to live on this time.  We think unemployment will give us just enough to scrape by on when coupled with our savings, and hope that this time, with the economy back on an upswing, this will be really short lived.  To be honest in some ways, it's not as scary this time.  Gary says I've gotten pretty good at stretching our budget, and it makes me feel alot better to know that he has that confidence in me.

Ultimately though, I haven't panicked this time, don't get me wrong, I am concerned, and it was a shock that we didn't see coming.  But we have learned throughout the past that God will provide.  After all He always has.  Very often through His people who gave us help when we didn't expect it and when they didn't even know how much it was needed.  We don't believe that "all things work together for good" that God caused this and is planning something even better from it. We know those verses in Romans 8 refer to God predestinating, calling, justifying, and glorifying His people - their eternal security. That no matter what happens in this life our eternal home is secure because of all that work on His part. However, we also believe in the Providence of God. That He doesn't just work all those things to our eternal security, but that He also cares about us here, and that He is able to provide for our daily needs. We have every confidence that He will lead us to where He wants us next, and will help us to know which job is right for us.

Overall we are trying to remain positive. We have long felt that the Lord wanted us at Old Carroll and while we might be wrong, we aren't feeling that our time is up there yet. We've often wondered why He put us in PA only to drive 2 1/2 to Church. Perhaps this is our chance to find a job closer to them. I have often lamented the overbearing homeschool law here in PA, and a state like Virginia would be much more homeschool friendly. We have never had the opportunity in our married life to live close to my family, perhaps this is a chance to find a job closer to them. We felt at peace in leaving Little Union and South Florida, though we didn't especially want to go, perhaps this is a chance to once again be closer to them. Britt said, "Maybe God will let us go to Texas for the next job!" He is so obsessed with that state. Maybe he is right though. We have no idea where the next job will be but are trying to focus on the excitement of a new adventure. Life isn't over, we just experienced a huge bend in the road that we didn't see before.

If I had an elephant I would name him Col. Haute, like in Jungle Book. http://www.theguardian.com/technology/2012/feb/12/my-bright-idea-elephants-australia

Did you know Bison almost went extinct, but there more now, but they are still endangered of going extinct in the wild?  They live on the other grasslands, the plains.  They got hunted by people.  They eat the grass to make it shorter, then other animals eat what is left.  While Bisons run, they dig their hooves in the dirt.  That lets new grass grow.  Did you know that there are birds also called cowbirds?  They stand close to the bison as they can, to pick off bugs.  But they have to stay on their toes, because they could get stepped on by the bisons hooves or get trampled.  Did you know that other animals have to move out of the way of Bison, they move in big herds and they trample.

If I had a bison I would name him Raging Bolt. http://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2011/12/american-buffalo-are-not-actually-buffalo/

We are going to the safari ride to see the Bisons at Lake Tobias on Friday if we get all of our school work done this week.

 Dear Rebecca,

Happy late Valentine's Day!  We love you very much.  You have changed the most of all of our children in the past year.  You have become very self reliant.  As always you favorite word is not just no, but NO in the largest caps we could find, underlined with 5 exclamation points behind it.  In fact I think you like no so much, that when you answer a question with yes you don't often say it, but just shake your head yes.  You can cry or get your feelings hurt at a moments notice.

One of my favorite parts of my day, when I come home for lunch, or from work is that you are so excited to see me that you come running hollering Daddy, Daddy and hug my kneecaps.  You have a way of just tilting your head to the side and smiling even when you are guilty and wrong.  Of all our three children, you are the most independent and resilient.  While you do still enjoy playing with Britt and Ruth, you are continue to play in your own world, do your own thing.  You tend to want to do things your own way, even if that is the hard way.  You really enjoy trying to do things for yourself whether that's taking off your own pull up or insisting that no one else can buckle you in the carseat, that you have to.  In some ways you are stubborn, you don't want to switch from diapers to just using the bathroom, which we both know you can do.  You don't share very well, particularly the rocking horse.  You take advantage of still being the baby that you win arguments and take things that they had.


Since last time I wrote your vocabulary was basically one word.  You have definitely expanded it though it is still sometimes difficult to understand what you say.  When it comes to eating you still pretty much eat all sorts of things, especially fruit.  You complain about eating a few items, but will when you are forced to.  You now are able to get some clothes and partially dress yourself.  You sleep in the big bed with Britt and Ruth.  You still prefer sleeping with your blanket and taggie.  While you love taggie, and Bro. Jonathan, there are some things you cannot stand.  You hate to have dirty hands, any kind of bug or insect, and get really upset when something happens to the good guys in the movies.  You were just hollering and wanting us to fix it when the "train of thought" crashed in the movie "Inside Out."

Valentine's Pictures from 2/17/2015

One of the most important things in life is honesty - being truthful to one another.  Where you do what you are suppose to and if you say you will do something you do it.  Honesty is more than just being correct or right, it's the action of doing the right thing, helping others, and being truthful when it's easy to lie.  Being honest takes a long term commitment.  You can quickly lose others trust with dishonesty.  We love you Rebecca and hope that you grow in knowledge, that you reach certain important milestones this year, like being potty trained, and are excited about the new changes coming this year in our lives.

I love you,
Daddy

I'm starting to sport a baby bump, and Gary noticed two nights ago that my belly button is starting to stick out a little.  I feel like I'm really big to only be 15 weeks along, but I've only gained 2 lbs so far. Since I weighed in at 147 lbs.  I should have taken a picture yesterday when I was dressed up to go to town, but I haven't taken a one yet.

Yesterday was my appointment with the midwives.  At my first appointment I met one who had three kids was a bit older and had been delivering babies for 30 years, but was newest to the practice.  This time I met a younger lady, who was really great with the kids.  She was very apologetic, the office staff goofed up and left me sitting in the waiting room for over an hour.  She let the kids work the doppler.  She told Britt to squeeze the gel so it looked like a Hershey kiss.  Ruth got to turn on and hold the speaker box, and then she showed Britt where to put the microphone part.  All while she held Rebecca up next to me on the table.  They were so excited to hear the heartbeat which was nice and fast.  I'm measuring a little on the large size, but everything looks good.

I've had almost no morning sickness this time.  I counted up in my planner and I've only been sick 7 of times and all 3 of the days that I actually threw up were on days that I had unbearable headaches.  It's been really nice to have basically no sickness, let alone not that all day, every day nausea that is only somewhat relieved by actually throwing up.  The trade off has been incredible exhaustion.  When the kids were gone, I took a nap almost every afternoon, since they have come back I've got to laid down a few days when Ruth and Rebecca have laid down at the same time, while Britt has reading time or plays Mario or MathBlasters.  I feel like it should have let up by now, I'm well out of the first trimester, where tiredness is suppose to be more of a big deal.  The midwife yesterday suggested that I take Vitamin B Complex when I get up and again at lunch to help give me a pick me up, till I'm feeling more myself.  So I may start that again.

Gary won't be able around his work schedule to go for an ultrasound until the last week of August, so they scheduled my next appointment to be that week as well, 6 weeks out.

Dear Ruthie,

Daddy loves you very much.  In one month's time you will be 5, though at times you seem to be older than that.  You are very independent in eating, doing chores like putting away your dishes when you are done and dressing yourself top to bottom.  But you remain dependent on Monkey.

You've gone through your first year of school.  And have just started again on your second year.  Technically you would still be considered kindergarten, but you and Momma seem to think that you are ready to dive deeper into reading and basic math skills like adding.  So, you have just started 1st grade.  It seems like you are doing very well, particularly with reading.  Momma says you catch on very fast, and you have almost caught up to Britt.  We still need to work on your speech skills, as it is still sometimes difficult to understand what you are trying to tell us.  You have alot of new things coming up this year, particularly with school.  You did alot of simple kindergarten work last year, this year you are going to work more on reading and math, and history for the first time.

You do your daily and weekly chores as you ought to.  Seems like Momma has given you more chores as you've gotten older.  You fold towels where you didn't before, and she now has you in charge of putting up recycling where it belongs.  We are starting to allow you to earn money each week, as long as you get your chore chart complete.  We hope this will be a way to keep you interested first of all in your jobs, but also so that you learn how to use money and save money.  You can buy things on your own now.  Right now we try to teach you not only basic instructions but to learn to save, give, and spend your money wisely.  Whether it's a particular item you want to save money to get, or something you see and like.


In general everything has changed and you've improved since our last letter.  You handle so many of your own jobs now, cleaning up your rooms, getting dressed every day, folding your pajamas and putting them away.  You seem to do things all on your own, without us telling you or instructing you in everything.  One of the few things that haven't changed is that you are overly attached to Monkey.  Which I think you are attached to WAY too much.  Of course you accidently left Monkey at the Cook's house on Sunday.  So you've had to go this entire week without her.  Which should hopefully teach you, after a week of no Monkey business, to keep Monkey in the car and not forget her overnight.

2-17, Valentine's Pictures

We love you, Monkey,
Daddy

All photos 7/8/2015

This leads me into what I hope you learn this year.  We really want to focus on giving.  You have now learned that most everything we have has a cost to buy it and to maintain it.  You understand that the food we buy at a restaurant or the groceries we get cost a lot of money.  And while it’s important for you to do your chores and daily things like clean your room and make your bed among many other things.  We want you to learn to use money, one for the basic math but also for the skills to live on your own one day.  When you start making your own money, you have to train yourself to give.  It’s not an easy thing to learn.  In fact you have to work at it.  It’s not easy to just give.  Many times you want to give one amount, and if you aren’t careful you’ll give less.  Right now, it’s not so much how much you give, but the intent behind it.  You should want to give it cheerfully, honestly, self-sacrificingly.  I found it is difficult to just give, even Daddy has to work on it, on a regular basis.  But the Lord instructs us to be a cheerful giver.  The Lord doesn’t give us a baseline or percentage, but he gives us great examples.  First He shows us Jesus Christ, who gave ALL of Himself.  But, also there are many other stories in the Bible, one lady gave two mites, all she had, and the Lord said she gave the most because she gave of all she had.  But, giving isn’t just monetary.  It also means commitment and time.  A great example is how your momma, gives of herself to teach you, Ruth, and Rebecca to read and write and school on a daily basis.  How she makes sure she has plans and exciting things to learn that peak your interest and things that are a necessity.  I know sometimes the math is tedious and a lot of work, but it is important to give your best effort.  What Momma shows is more than just giving it is charity – it is giving with love.  She does all this for you because she loves you and wants the best for you.  So this is a lesson you don’t learn just one time, but that you do on a daily basis – it is important to give of yourself.  The best reason is because we love you.

My Dearest Gary Britt,

Happy Anniversary!  8 years ago we got married, today we are expecting baby #4.  Time really seems to fly.  The last year (two really) have been really good years for us.  We have enjoyed a wonderful Church home, with no big problems.  We have enjoyed the same house, a record amount of time in one place for us.  We have enjoyed some stability, with a good job, and getting our finances in order, another first for us.  In a lot of ways I have felt like we can plan and dream again.  It is still hard to do, because I know security is an illusion, but I feel like we CAN.  We can dream about more kids, a larger car, no debt, our own home, being closer to Church and town, all the adventures we want to take the kids on.  We can even talk about retirement now, and what all we'd love to do.  These things are so new.

In other ways we have grown to be comfortable with one another, like a pair of perfectly broke in bluejeans.  We can sit in our chairs at the end of the night, you playing Frozen Bejeweled on the ipad while you watch some game, and me working on lesson plans or scrolling through facebook.  But you still surprise me too in so many ways, of course you say I'm so easy to surprise and everything makes me happy.  But you decided to take me golfing with you for the first time, just us two while the kids were gone, and I actually had a lot of fun watching you and driving/riding in that golf cart (you really can't drive one).  It's a real blessing to have someone who loves me at my best and my worst.  Who is understanding when I don't even understand what's going on with my moods.  Someone that I want to please and help, but someone for whom I don't have to put on pretenses or try to be someone I'm not.  I don't have to filter me with you, and that is something that is unique to us.  I don't have that level of trust and comfort with anyone else.

Your level of dedication to this family, working hard without complaint never ceases to amaze me.  You don't manage all the little things, you mostly leave the workings of bedtime and the intricacies of our homeschool resources and scheduling up to me.  But you do everything that makes the rest possible working all day, long work weeks and then coming home and feeding us all.  It leaves me free to handle everything else.  I don't say it enough, but I appreciate that you literally handle the two biggest things in our household.

I also never tire of watching you with the kids.  When you and Britt wrestle, when you let Ruth be supper helper, when you and Rebecca stretch out with taggie in your recliner and watch the Ray's game at night.  I wonder what new favorites I will love with this next baby (who will not be named Basil or Gary Britt the III).  I find that despite having grown comfortable together, it doesn't dull the love I feel for you.  It is really amazing that God has given us this gift of marriage, this ability to both become comfortably one over the years and yet still have a fire that keeps life exciting.  I pray we have many more such years together.

I love you,
~your dani~