Then on the way up to Alabama last weekend, I was reading the sixth Mitford novel by Jan Karon (great books by the way), and the pastor in the books, had gone through a hard spell with a diabetic coma, an accident that seriously injured a pedestrian, and a general sense of despair and depression. Near the end of the book while studying for a sermon, at the 12th hour, so to speak, he found the Lord giving him his topic, I Thessalonians 5:18 "In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." His point in his following sermon, was that this verse doesn't say give thanks when everything is going great, or give thanks when you are on the mountain top, but give thanks in everything. Well that got me thinking a bit more.

Then this week, Gary and I listened to the messages from some of the brethren at Little Union last Sunday. Since the Church was unable to find a minister to fill in last Sunday some of the brothers in the Church gave testimony of what great things the Lord has done for them, and told of things that the Lord had laid on their heart. Bro. Jamie posted the messages to the Churchwebsite, and then Bro. Matt wrote a little more about his thoughts. And well, that got me thinking some more.

I choose on our blog to only record the happenings, to give little happy snippets into our life. I don't use this as a place to gripe and complain, or to moan and cry. I don't think it edifies anyone, it doesn't make for good reading, I'm not trying to get sympathy, and frankly I don't know that I like those inner feelings out on the internet for any and everyone to read. Some people are great at balancing the trials and joys of everyday life with amazing grace and a touch of humor (I can think of a few blogs I stalk that fit that description), but I'm not sure that I'm able to do that. So sometimes when I can't find something interesting to report or can't stop a little whiny voice in my writing, I'm absent a little while.

These thoughts got me thinking though. Sometimes we should be real with one another and real look at ourselves, our lives, our attitudes and evaluate what we see. I will confess that I can make a very long un-thankful list. To top it off would be the startling, and frightening revelation...

Believe me, I am a control freak, an organizer, a planner of things, I like to know what is coming and in great detail to prepare for it. I do not like uncertainty, out of the routine, or flying by the seat of my pants. (I even envy a little those who can seem to so easy roll with the punches and handle whatever happens along, making major course changes with no stress, map, stars, or other visible guiding factors). I cannot tell you how many times Gary and I have said, if we just knew the date and the job that we would have next, this would be so much easier.

HOWEVER, even in this great trial there have been so very many blessings. Gary has often said what a joy it is to spend this much time with the kids, most working parents miss so much of a child's life in the day to day happenings, not big things necessarily, just the every day things. And while Gary might enjoy missing the finger painting on the walls with dirty diapers, the truth is that he has had the remarkable joy of spending 24 hours a day with our children. Britt was 8 months old when Gary lost his job. What a blessing to spend that much time together the four of us as a family. What a blessing I have had to have him at home to tag team on diaper changes, feeding children, and handling messes. I get to sit and eat lunch with him each and every day, while the kids take a nap. These little things when you stop and think how rare they are in today's world are a great blessing. After all what may appear to be little and insignificant isn't really. We take for granted often the rising and setting sun, the fact that we wake up each morning, but each day is a gift, a gift from God. What is even more amazing is God's providential care for us in the big things. We have not had any major illnesses or accidents in this time without health insurance. Due to the generosity of the Church and our family, we have never been without food, a home, clothing for the kids, or gas money. In fact, we have had more than our needs met. Every time I start crunching numbers and panicking, Gary finds a part time or temporary position, or we find a letter in the mail box where someone had us on their heart. A truely humbling experience, a great blessing from God when you stop to consider it. Too great to truly grasp perhaps, definitely too great for words.

You know there are many things that Gary and I regularly thank the Lord for at night, our children, good health, "all of Your many rich blessings" is a phrase Gary often uses. But even in times of hardship, even when all looks hopeless, there are things that we can find to be thankful for. Because even when the valley is dark and deep and oh so lonely, even when I stumble and wonder can He hear our prayers, why does nothing get better, there are many blessings even then. He is the Lily of the Valley. He is in the valley and along the way He can be seen if we just look around. Too often I am too busy looking around and wondering when will we have a job, when will life no longer be on hold, when can we have more children, when can we have a house of our own, when this, when that. There is nothing wrong with any of those things, but I find that the problem is that I am too busy focusing on the "when" of non guaranteed future blessings, to enjoy the blessings that we already have right at this very moment. Life isn't on hold, it's happening each day, all around us, each moment.

This Thanksgiving I am thankful for more than the food and the family, not to diminish those, but there is so much more I can be thankful for. I am thankful for the continued providence of God in our lives. I am thankful for the Lord who sees and cares. I am thankful for what may be seemingly small, every day blessings. I am thankful for even the valleys, because how else would we know the blessed glory of the mountain tops without the darkness of the valleys.