We asked to join at Old Carroll Primitive Baptist Church today. I am very happy to report they accepted us pending a letter from Little Union. We have visited half a dozen other Primitive Baptist Churches since we moved up in May. We have been in prayer for sometime about where the Lord would have us to be. There have a couple of Churches that impressed us, so we wanted to be sure before we made a decision. We believe in looking to the Lord to see where He wants us to be at any given time in our lives, but I don't believe in Church hopping. Obviously the Truth, or the doctrine is the most important thing, but we also are looking for a Church home. I believe we have found one. Bro. Jonathan is an able preacher with a great love for the Truth. Everyone in the Church is incredibly giving and loving, with a servant's heart. We really enjoying visiting and spending time with everyone. We are so grateful to have found Old Carroll and that they would have us.
5:42 PM
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Yesterday morning, I woke up and surprised Momma with three pearly whites. The two up top, the left front tooth and the eye tooth next to it, are just through enough for her to feel, but not to see. The bottom left tooth is through enough to feel and see. Momma didn't have any luck getting a picture today, but Ruth sure did holler when I chomped down. She wanted to feel too, she hollered, scared me, and I cried too. Momma mostly laughed at us, while trying to pretend she wasn't.
4:06 PM
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We went camping at Hannah and Leah's house. I played with Hannah, Savannah, Dylan, Christopher, and Britt. Britt was bad to Hannah. He hit Hannah with his sword with Christopher. I ran outside with Hannah. Me very cold outside. Hannah let me get under her blanket with her to be warm in the house. Then we played with toys.
I ate a hot dog with Dylan. Then I ate one, two, three, four marshmallows. Then after I played, I ate some more. I ate chocolate too. Chocolate is very yummy and sticky too. I didn't eat them all together. No, Britt didn't either. I didn't eat any on a cracker.
I sleep in my bed with Hannah and Britt. It's Leah's bed. I want to live there, cause me love Hannah and Leah. I miss Hannah and Leah. Me so excited to see them on Sunday again, cause I miss them. I like going to that Church but I don't like playing games with Christopher because he not sing with me. Hannah and Leah sing with me. Christopher likes to play with Britt. Sometimes he plays with me and Hannah and Leah's house.
4:26 PM
No random thoughts
Rebecca,
You are 8 months old today, and my how quickly this month has flown. The day was half over, before I remembered what day it was.
You continue to amaze me with your determination to keep up with your siblings. You are lightening fast at crawling, traveling in circles in the rooms downstairs when they are running through them. You will come into the kitchen or laundry room looking for me while I am working, when you get tired of playing with your own things. Last Monday, I had you playing in the floor, and I carried something up the stairs to put away, and when I came back down you were on the third step, and hollaring for me. Needless to say I broke out the baby gate, if I wasn't going to be right in the room with you, but you haven't tried it again. Even when I tried to get you to, to show Daddy. You began cruising on the furniture October 5th, and in the last week, you have attempted to let go and step, only to fall back down. You have also attempted to stand in the middle of the room, but can't keep your balance, but end up standing on your knees. It is mind-boggling to think that at such a young age that you might be walking soon.
You are still a peite little thing. I was always a little jealous of some of the absolute dolls the other Sisters had, weigh all of 6 lbs sopping wet. Britt and Ruth were cute with all of their rolls, but you are so dainty, and I love it too. I'm not worried about your piddly weight gain since you are so very active in every other way. I got on the scale with you this morning, and I believe you now weigh 17 lbs. We'll find out for sure next Tuesday at your doctor's appointment. You are still wearing alot of 3-6 month clothes, most of the shirts are getting a little tight, but the 6-9 pants mostly swallow you up. You crawl right out of most of them. I don't think it will be much longer, at least I hope not, because we don't really have any cold weather clothes in 3-6, and the weather is beginning to turn off this week.
You are improving, some, with the eating. You completely gave up nursing this week. As always, I'm so excited to be through with that. And I'm beating myself up over not making it to a year. And I'm a little sad after all you were actually a good nurser, you didn't have the wicked, barracuda, latch the others did. And I'm appalled at the price of formula, I think it's gone up 30% in price since Ruth. You HATE plain oatmeal, but don't mind it mixed with baby food, since that's what I'm using to thicken up your food. In the last week, I've started feeding you baby food twice a day. I would like to start giving you a little table food, but you don't have any teeth, and who knows when they might show up. There were a few times, we were sure you were teething, only to have it pass, and leave no pearly whites behind. I did let you eat some of my banana yesterday you couldn't decide what to do with it, till I broke you off a little piece, instead of letting you gum it to death.
You enjoy playing with Britt's dinosaurs. My theory is it is because you see everyone else playing with them. You also, really like your vibrating cow, and Britt's old blue puppy that he gave you. You love to find paper to pull apart and eat, I don't know where you are stashing, it since you seem to be getting into it all the time! You love to sit and watch the tv. You love to people watch. Everyone remarks about how observant you are, sitting and staring. We all wonder what you must be thinking about you are so serious so much of the time, so focused. Not to say that you don't laugh and smile alot, especially for Britt. You are clearly a Momma's girl. Which I don't complain about, much.
You remain content to go to anyone, but if I walk through your line of sight you start fussing for me. Britt didn't get his clinginess until about a month or two shy of 2, and Ruth has never been clingy though she prefers Daddy. This has really been our first time experiencing separation anxiety, and you are giving us a run for our money.
You can get down right mad if a bottle isn't forthcoming. And you don't let go once you have it. Grandmother laughed herself silly, over your death grip. You are so much stronger than you appear to be. Even worse though, is when you sit in the floor looking at Daddy in the evenings and just scream bloody murder to be held. It drives Daddy nuts. He wants to lay back and relax, and you don't just sit and cuddle any more, most of the time, you want to climb all over everyone and try to do flips out of the recliner. On the same note, holding you in Church is getting to be a regular work out. You are too small to sit on the bench, but too strong for the wrestling match. You are very adament now about not sitting in your car seat more than about 15 or 20 mins into song service.
You are also talking a little bit more. You are saying "Da-da" and "Ma-ma" not that it means Daddy and Momma yet. You use them more to mean, "HEY! SOMEBODY! ANYBODY! I don't want to sit here in the floor by myself anymore. I don't like the carseat. Or I'm starving!" The other two are excited that you can talk now, and lay in the floor trying to get you to say Britt or Ruth.
You continue to amaze and charm, sweetness. We love you so much, and thank God for you.
Love,
Momma
3:03 PM
No random thoughts
Momma: Why do we say prayer?
Britt: Because God told us to.
Momma: Why does he want us to do that.
Britt: Because it's talking to him. To ask blessings from the Lord.
Momma: What kind of things do you pray about.
Britt: I ask for him to be there, so I wont be scared at night. I want him to sleep in the bed, so I ask for a brother to sleep with me. I ask him alot of times, but he didn't even give me one yet. Why is he not going to give me one very soon?
Momma: What other kinds of things do you pray for?
Britt: That God would protect my toys, and send me gingerman cookies. I ask Him to take care of people like Momma, and Daddy, and Rebecca, and Ruth, and myself, and Kita, and Christopher, and Hannah, and Leah.
Momma: Is it important to pray?
Britt: Yeah, it's super important.
Momma: What does God do while we pray?
Britt: He talks to us in our heart, I feel him in there. Is he in everyone's heart?
Momma: In all of his children.
Britt: Is he in bad guy's hearts?
Momma: Maybe if they are one of his children, maybe they don't listen to him like they should.
Britt: It's important to listen to God. I listen to Him, sometimes.
Britt: Because God told us to.
Momma: Why does he want us to do that.
Britt: Because it's talking to him. To ask blessings from the Lord.
Momma: What kind of things do you pray about.
Britt: I ask for him to be there, so I wont be scared at night. I want him to sleep in the bed, so I ask for a brother to sleep with me. I ask him alot of times, but he didn't even give me one yet. Why is he not going to give me one very soon?
Momma: What other kinds of things do you pray for?
Britt: That God would protect my toys, and send me gingerman cookies. I ask Him to take care of people like Momma, and Daddy, and Rebecca, and Ruth, and myself, and Kita, and Christopher, and Hannah, and Leah.
Momma: Is it important to pray?
Britt: Yeah, it's super important.
Momma: What does God do while we pray?
Britt: He talks to us in our heart, I feel him in there. Is he in everyone's heart?
Momma: In all of his children.
Britt: Is he in bad guy's hearts?
Momma: Maybe if they are one of his children, maybe they don't listen to him like they should.
Britt: It's important to listen to God. I listen to Him, sometimes.
(Sometimes I just want to save these little moments. The way he rolls all over the bed when we say prayer, that boy can't be still. The way he randomly adds people's names when he thinks about them, like Christopher. Or when he decided to pray for Aunt Maghen's frog. The way he stops me in the middle of saying prayer to ask why God hasn't made someone all better yet, or do I think God likes cookies. The way he says "Thank you fow our heavf and our guidin' pwotection." Sorry this is so quiet. Gary kinda hid the camera on the dresser, so he wouldn't pay any attention to it, and the volume just isn't there in this video.)
11:10 PM
No random thoughts
So I finished reading the Old Testament last week. I have been really bad about neglecting my reading this month, and even though I am still hoping to finish by the end of the year, it may not happen. I tend to do less reading when we have company or are gone visiting, because I am out of my routine. The holiday season is very busy in going to see family, and I know I will probably fall a little further behind then. I am OCD enough to desperately want to catch up and finish "on time" but I don't want to rush so that I don't understand or appreciate anything that I have read. So we will see how it goes. Tonight though, I want to share a few thought from Esther in the Old Testament.
I was interested to learn, that Esther is the only book in the Bible, that the name of God nor a pronoun for Him is not found. Despite a complete lack of his name, you can see his Hand, His providence throughout the book. It is the Providence of God that I have had on my mind a lot lately, that I primarily want to talk about. Have you ever stopped to consider, and I mean really consider, the Providental care of God? It is something that I have thought a lot on over the last few years, primarily because of our joblessness situation, an experience that I suspect will permenantly affect my world view. I heard it said, and often comforted myself saying, "This just wasn't the job that God meant for us to have." We filled out so many job applications, I would guess in the neighborhood of a couple thousand in all of that time, Gary had so many phone interviews, there were even several instances where they did in person interviews and he would be in the top three or it would come down to him or one other individual. It was discouraging to see another great job pass us by. I spent a lot of time second guessing and third guessing and gazillion guessing too, if I was doing something wrong in the way I was filling out applications, if Gary wasn't selling himself enough, if there was something else at work. I knew in my head that we were doing everything possible, and that it was just a rotten economy, but I still questioned and doubted. People would try to be comforting saying that The Lord would bless us with a job at the right time. And while I do believe He blessed us with this opportunity, I find something almost fatalistic about the idea that we just weren't going to get a job, until the one He picked came along. We don't believe for a minute that God predestines events, but only people's final destiny. So why do we say such things? We don't believe "the all things" in Roman 8:28 means all things that happen. God doesn't cause murder, there is nothing working for good for us about our own sin. It is disingenuous to claim that God causes or some how needs our sins to accomplish His plan. He often brings about good from such situations despite the fact that we don't deserve such mercy, but He doesn't predestinate us to sin. "Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound? God forbid." (Romans 6:1-2)
My Daddy has the opinion, which Mother laments is so unromantic, that there is not one individual, sole mate, perfect individual out there for each of us. I think they are both right, it isn't all that romantic to say, that there are many people out there that I could be compatible with. There is no Mr. Right. However, on the other hand, rather than searching for some elusive feeling of love where there will be no problems, but a perpetual honeymoon, think about the idea of actively choosing someone. I didn't have to love Gary, He didn't decide to marry me because of some force beyond his control, we CHOSE one another. Everyday we CHOOSE to continue loving one another. The idea that he could have chosen others, and most likely could have chosen better, but instead picked me is much better than the notion of romance an uncontrollable force that just happens or doesn't or disappears.
So I am sure you are wondering what in the world this has to do with the providential care of God, if you are even still hanging in there with me. And what in the world it has to do with Esther. I am getting there, let me relate one more story. I have had many long talks with Daddy over the years, about Churchy things, more and more these conversations happen on the phone. At one point I can recall laying on our bed in Florida, on the phone with Daddy, staring at the Thomas Kincaid wallpaper border, after getting another crushing "I am so sorry but we went with the other guy" from the latest promising job. I can recall asking him about this, and giving a few other seniories, and asking him for his thoughts. Can there really be a particular job out there? I believe in His providence though I don't understand it. I believe that He can and does interfer in our affairs, because He listens to prayer. I know he guides us and yet, I don't know that he causes such things. I have mulled over His response many times. He said that it is his belief that God not only knows what will happen, but that he also knows how every choice we could have made would turn out. In my own limited understanding I imagine it much like the scifi idea of alternate universes, alternate realities. God is mind bogglingly limitless. Daddy told me that God could work regardless of which choice we made, because, as he reminded me He is not dependent on us. He told me that he imagines if we could truly see and understand how much God providentially provides for us on a Daily basis we wouldn't be walking by Faith anymore, because Daddy imagines that God does far more in our daily care than we imagine. If I could have seen how and why he was caring for us through His providence while we were out if work, I might have been less stressed, I would have been more lazy, and I wouldn't have been walking faithful, because I would have seen the outcome.
Like I have said, I have thought about Providence a lot since then, I don't fully understand it, but the famous verse in Esther struck me anew all over again at this latest reading.
Then Mordecai commanded to answer Esther, Think not with thyself that thou shalt escape in the king's house, more than all the Jews. For if thou altogether holdest thy peace at this time, then shall there enlargement and deliverance arise to the Jews from another place; but thou and thy father's house shall be destroyed: and who knoweth whether thou art come to the kingdom for such a time as this? …. (Esther 4:13-14)
Mordecai isn't saying that God put you here, as a child positions her dolls, but that you have come to this situation, do what is right, and see if God works through you. He is quick to point out that they will be delivered. Mordecai never doubts that the people will be delivered. Regardless of what Esther chooses to do He will bring deliverance. God was going to Providentially Care for his People, He was and is able to work in any situation. It is an amazing Truth to ponder.
10:38 PM
No random thoughts
I can't do this any more (above), but I can do this (below). This week I also climbed up three of the steps, before Momma pulled out the baby gate. I attempted to let go while cruising, though that didn't work out for me quite so well. And last week, Momma gave me a pillow and dropped my bed to the lowest level. Apparently I might be growing.
4:06 PM
No random thoughts
I like Granddaddy and Grandmother. I played with Grandmother. I showed her my leap pad. Grandmother read my school books and my fairy book. Grandmother brought me some pursues - golden and blue. I put my makeup in them and my picture card. They got me a Hello Kitty clock. Granddaddy brought me some Reese's Cups. I like to wallow on him when he is going to sleep.
5:34 PM
No random thoughts
I have been wrestling with Daddy. Wrestling is being a little rough without being too hard, not hurting people. I try to not hurt Daddy. He is a little good wrestler.
Granddaddy and Britt have been fixing doors. He used one of my blocks to block up the hole and then but the glass door back on it. I handed him the tools he needed and I cleaned the doors up. We hammered up and down on the things to hook up the door to stand it up (the pins in the hinges). I used my tools too, the hammer first. I like working with Granddaddy super bunch.
9:09 PM
No random thoughts
In lieu of our regularly scheduled programming this week, here is a blog to cover all the kids, and fill those of you in who were wondering "where in the world did they go?"
For a week now, I've been attempting to take advantage of the gorgeous, and as I've been told unseasonably warm weather in order to clean out the flowerbeds. I have some bulbs to plant when I get finished, and Gary brought home some fertilizer to put out. He is even going to allow me a little money for mulching them. I started with the flowerbed along the side of the house between it and the drive way. For the last two days I've continued on with the bed along the road. If the weather holds long enough there is a bed on the other side of the house, that I will clear out too, after the round-up has had a chance to work.
The kids have been surprisingly good helpers. The highlight though, was went we started finding "dinosaur bones" in the flowerbed along the guard rail. We found over 30 bones, and Britt is excited to see if Granddaddy can identify any of them for him. Britt helped me for 2 hours both days last week, but yesterday when we found bones, he stayed out there pulling grass and digging through dirt for nearly 4 hours. I was amazed at his focus. Ruth isn't much of a worker, not like he is, I got a could 20 mins out of her, before she started just throwing dirt around and laughing.
Rebecca has spent a little time out in the grass as well. She's still not wild about it, but she's eating all the leaves that she can get her hands on. She's had especially crazy hair, as it is blowing around in the wind, and she won't leave her bows in lately. I guess if she doesn't care, I don't care when it's just us around the house.
Kita seems to be enjoying the cooler weather too. She's been especially frisky, and bouncing all over the place. She's finished blowing her coat, and her new undercoat is filling in nicely. I am thinking about trying to get out and walk/run regularly with her now that it's cooling off. It might be a good way to get off the last of the baby weight, that is so noticeably hanging around.
8:19 PM
No random thoughts