A friend shared this with me, and I thought that it was too funny to not pass along!

Test 1 - Preparation Women: To prepare for pregnancy:
1. Put on a dressing gown and stick a beanbag down the front.
2. Leave it there.
3. After 9 months remove 5% of the beans.

Men: To prepare for children:
1. Go to a local chemist, tip the contents of your wallet onto the counter and tell the pharmacist to help himself
2. Go to the supermarket. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home. Pick up the newspaper and read it for the last time.

Test 2 - Knowledge
Find a couple who are already parents and berate them about their methods of discipline, lack of patience, appallingly low tolerance levels and how they have allowed their children to run wild. Suggest ways in whichthey might improve their child's sleeping habits, toilet training, table manners and overall behavior. Enjoy it. It will be the last time in your life that you will have all the answers.

Test 3 - Nights To discover how the nights will feel:
1. Walk around the living room from 5pm to 10pm carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 4 - 6kg, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly.
2. At 10pm, put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 11pm and walk the bag around the living room until 1am.
4. Set the alarm for 3am.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2am and make a cup of tea.
6. Go to bed at 2.45am.
7. Get up again at 3am when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs in the dark until 4am.
9. Put the alarm on for 5am. Get up when it goes off.
10. Make breakfast.Keep this up for 5 years. LOOK CHEERFUL.

Test 4 - Dressing Small Children
1. Buy a live octopus and a string bag.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the string bag so that no arms hang out.
Time Allowed: 5 minutes.

Test 5 - Car
s1. Forget the BMW. Buy a practical 5-door wagon.
2. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there.
3. Get a coin. Insert it into the CD player.
4. Take a box of chocolate biscuits; mash them into the back seat.
5. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Test 6 - Going For a Walk
Wait
Go out the front door
Come back in again
Go out
Come back in again
Go out again
Walk down the front path
Walk back up it
Walk down it again
Walk very slowly down the road for five minutes.
Stop, inspect minutely and ask at least 6 questions about every piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue and dead insect along the way.
Retrace your steps
Scream that you have had as much as you can stand until the neighbours come out and stare at you.
Give up and go back into the house.
You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.

Test 7
Repeat everything you say at least 5 times.

Test 8 - Grocery Shopping
1. Go to the local supermarket. Take with you the nearest thing you can find to a pre-school child - a fully grown goat is excellent. If you intend to have more than one child, take more than one goat.
2. Buy your weekly groceries without letting the goat(s) out of your sight.
3. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Test 9 - Feeding a 1 year-old
1. Hollow out a melon
2. Make a small hole in the side
3. Suspend the melon from the ceiling and swing it side to side
4. Now get a bowl of soggy cornflakes and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon while pretending to be an aeroplane.
5. Continue until half the cornflakes are gone.
6. Tip the rest into your lap, making sure that a lot of it falls on the floor.

Test 10 - TV
1. Learn the names of every character from the Wiggles, Barney, Teletubbies and Disney.
2. Watch nothing else on television for at least 5 years.

Test 11 - Mess, Can you stand the mess children make? To find out:
1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains
2. Hide a fish behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flowerbeds and then rub them on clean walls. Cover the stains with crayon. How does that look?
4. Empty every drawer/cupboard/storage box in your house onto the floor & leave it there.

Test 12 - Long Trips with Toddlers
1. Make a recording of someone shouting 'Mummy' repeatedly. Important Notes: No more than a 4 second delay between each Mummy. Include occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet.
2. Play this tape in your car, everywhere you go for the next 4 years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Test 13 - Conversations
1. Start talking to an adult of your choice.
2. Have someone else continually tug on your shirt hem or shirt sleeve while playing the Mummy tape listed above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

Test 14 - Getting ready for work
1. Pick a day on which you have an important meeting.
2. Put on your finest work attire.3. Take a cup of cream and put 1 cup of lemon juice in it
4. Stir
5. Dump half of it on your nice silk shirt
6. Saturate a towel with the other half of the mixture
7. Attempt to clean your shirt with the same saturated towel
8. Do not change (you have no time).
9. Go directly to workYou are now ready to have children. ENJOY!!

Baby Nate Ferrel did go for his EKG, and while they haven't gotten back the official reports, Amber feels like things looked good. Remember them as he will be having an MRI in the next couple of weeks.

Joan Ellen has been diagnosed with gestational diabetes. He and Mom and Dad would especially like to have your prayers for her and the baby.

Parker Allen has had some resent test, and there is a good chance that speaking isn't far off for him. He is continuing to improve. Please pray extra for the family right now, as they prepare to make some changes. His father, Coach Allen will be going back to teaching and coaching this month, as school continues. His mother, Mrs. Allen, plans to remain a teacher at East Lawrence Elementary, but will be using her sick days, and donated sick days and vacation time in order to continue staying at home and caring for Parker.

...because it has no pictures. We had a good night at church tonight but unfortunately Elder Tim didn't have much light. During supper tonight that lights flicker several times, but the lights stayed on through song service. While Elder Buddy was introducing services and Bro Tim was about to get in the stand, off went the lights. So Gary got to lead for an extra 15 minutes in the dark. We sung songs from memory and we sung Scripture songs and still no light. Ultimately Bro Tim had to preach in the dark with no air conditioning with two small candles. In all seriousness though, he had a good sermon on burdens and we had a great evening. However, I sure hope we have air conditioning and lights tomorrow.

After church several of us headed over to Bro Sonny and Sis Beverly house, where we sang, ate cookies, and visited. This is also when we discovered that Bethany only reads blogs with pictures. : ) It always good to visit with PB friends.

Faithful readers, just a question for you all. Libby is the name we are thinking about using for a girl. Everyone seems to like it, but a few people have pointed out that it is a great name for a girl, but can't see it for a grown woman. Obviously we will ultimately do what we want, but i wanted further thought. What do you think?

Updates all around today.

Baby Nate Ferrel goes for an EKG today. His pre-op for the MRI is on August 13th. He has to undergo pre-op since he will be put under anesthesia. The MRI will be August 14th, and they will be looking specifically at his head, cervical spine, lumbar spine, and thoracic spine. They expect him to be under about an hour. Please continue to pray for him and his family.

Aunt Joanna has returned home. Please continue to remember her family and all of those who have recently lost loved ones. The Tucker family, the Aday/Kitchens family, and one of Gary's co-workers who just lost his Mother.

Parker Allen is slowly and steadily improving. He has more and more consistant control over his right hand and foot, and is gaining control over his right arm and leg. The family continues to be strengthened by God at this time, and Parker seems to have great strength as well. Please continue to pray for him, as it is evident that the Lord is healing him a little at a time.

Please continue to remember all who are pregnant at this time, I've added a new one to the prayer list.

Please continue to pray for spiritual growth in our churches and for our ministers. I feel personally that when we are in the right place spiritually, that the Lord will bless us with the appropriate numbers.

Also, please continue to remember our armed forces, our President, and the upcoming election.

...will not be my child's name contrary to what you might have heard.

Today at quilting the girls and I decided to pick out a girls and boys name since Gary won't help pick any out, and all that are suggested to him he vetoes. The grand plan was to present him with a name not previously vetoed, and tell him these would be our names. The only requirement was a Biblical name to go with Britt and Libby

Kelly pulled out the book of all Biblical names and we set out looking for some good names. Sara was a great deal of help and Hannah was too, that is until she started actually looking at some of the names. Hannah's two favorite Biblical names for a boy to go with Britt were...

Vajezatha Britt
Gederothaim Britt

However her favorite name of all is Huckleberry Britt. I had previously mentioned that I like Irish and Scottish names, one in particular that I had suggested as a possible middle name was Finn (or the English verison of Fionn). All Hannah could burst out with was "Like Huckleberry Finn!?" She then tried to explain to me that Huckleberry was a biblical name, because "They talk about berries in the Bible." Needless to say, she is telling everyone that even if we don't name him Huckleberry that it will be his nickname, and the support she has gotten so far has been unbelievable. Some people really have no taste at all.

A few serious ones that Gary hadn't already vetoed where suggested like Libby Magdalene, Uriah Britt, Joash Britt, Lucus Britt, etc. So tonight, Gary and I talked some and we finally have some tenative names that he will consider using. For a boy Elisha/Elijah Britt (whichever is his grandfather's middle name, though we like Elisha best) and for a girl Libby Grace. I am very happy that I got "maybe" out of him, after all he has actively vetoed every name offered.

Care to give your opinion?

Every year at singing school, after spending most of the hot summer day sitting in classes, surrounded by some of the best friends we have, the excitement level and energy runs high. So we have to do something with all that excess energy, thus the games begin every afternoon, in pretty much the hottest, driest part of the day. Each one carefully designed for maximum energy expenditure and extreme competitiveness, and oh did I mention possiblity for pain?
The games are devided between age groups, with the youngest kids either in the tribe of Levi or Joseph. The middle group fall into the tribes of Dan or Benjamin. Then the unruly highschool/college/adult group either belong to the noble and elite Asher tribe shode in iron and brass, having plenty of bread, a most happy folk, or that evil team Judah. I mean seriously what do they have going for them, David, Solomon, Jesus. We are still the better tribe, friends. :D
Monday, we played Angle Ball. A game difficult to discribe other than to say that you have a very large ball, think exercise ball here, suctioned onto a large punger, on top of a very long piece of pvc pipe, all sunk into a bucket of concrete. The object is to throw a very light and small ball hard enough to knock off the big ball, all without getting within 10 feet of the whole set up. Sounds easy? Try it with about a gazillion people running at you, trying to trip or kill you (either works) and remembering who your team mates are to throw to the right person, when the other team tags you.

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Tuesday, we played a much calmer game of volleyball. I was greatly saddened by the lost of our water games. Water balloons and capture the flag I could have definately handled, and boy would I have liked to have gotten wet, it was hot.
Wednesday, was the greatest of all game days, the day when we play the illustrous game of Bully Ball. This game is so rough that it ends in broken bones (ok not really, but it could very easily, end that way), however, it is so rough that the girls now play separate from the guys. I missed the girls game this year, but the guys game was as amazing as always. Imagine a game rougher than football, rougher than rugby, all without any protective gear. Imagine Adam our faithful referee attempting to call plays and stop the game with no whistle only his voice. Imagine dust and gravel flying and a very, very large ball. This ball is the biggest you have ever seen, one person cannot wrap their arms all the way around this ball. The object is to get possession of the ball and get it through the opposite goal, in anyway possible. The only person you can't run over is the goalie. The best pictures I didn't even get because I was too busy watching the game. At one point Gary and a couple of others were pushing Justin and Jayme over the fence. Seriously, they were off their feet, on top of the chain link fence. Everyone had battle scars for at least a few days. The girls sat on the ground, cheering on our guys and tried to keep out from under their feet, and the ball threatened to go out of bounds.
Thursday was the relay races. Each team paired up with a little kids team, to inspire teamwork. In the first set of relays, they had to pass a lifesaver from person to person from toothpick to toothpick, big kid to little kid to big kid. The second relay, they had to pass a small foam ball from person to person, big kid to little kid to big kid, using only their neck. (This provided many of us with somewhat incriminating photos of those playing.) The third relay was the funniest. Big kids and little kids were teamed up together to run down to a stack of stuff. The big kid had to set up a chair, open and unbrello while the little kid opened a container of animal crackers. The little kid had to put three in his mouth and yell "whoot, whoot" without blowing crumbs, then they had to stack everything back up and run and tag the next couple. It quickly became obvious that some parents had taught their kids, one cracker at a time, and chew and swallow completely before putting another one in; while other kids shoved three in their mouth, didn't chew at all and yelled whoot, then ate them when they got back to the line. The final rely was called 40 ways to get there and back. Each person on the team had to get to the bucket and back a different way. There were power walkers, hopping on one leg, crawling, cartwheels all the way down and back, and walking on hands. Those of us sitting around on the hill watching, were laughing and laughing and laughing.

At the end of the day the once undefeated Asher discovered that for the second year in a role Judah won, but just wait till next year, we'll be back. Note: Moms really love post game hugs from their sons.

Before leaving on our grand and long vacation. Gary and I went some place interesting which he has been after me to blog about. Where you ask? Cypress Gardens.