Thursday, April 26, 2007

A How to on Writing Beautiful College Papers...

In honor of this being finals week and in the next two days, I have two books to read, two papers to write, and two finals to study for and take. Here is a thought on my life these days. Iffen it looks familiar it's the same post from myspace that I made a few weeks back, but this time with accompanying pictures...

1. First find a comfortable chair, that will inspire you to work.
2. Debate straight typing vs writing out the paper by hand first.
3. Decide to go with typing after all it's due tomorrow (or maybe last week) and you don't have time to do it twice
4. Check your email.
5. Check your myspace and post a bulletin complaining about the paper you have to write.
6. Check your facebook and update your status to reflect the fact that you are suppose to be doing your homework.
7. Waste countless time trying to find the directions for the assignment and read it carefully, to make sure you get it.
8. Check either your email, myspace, or facebook one more time just for the heck of it.
9. Get hungry and walk into the kitchen to cook some Ramon because that's all you can afford.
10. Call a friend from the class, while telling yourself you just need to check this one thing for this paper. If they haven't started the paper either, take a trip to Waffle House to discuss the class and why you hate this paper.
11. When you get back to the apartment, sit down in the floor and organize the pretty notecards. 12. Complain about the heat and turn on your fan.
13. Spend alot of time reorganizing the notecards.
14. Fix a PB and Bannana sandwhich and debate with your brother what movie you both would rather be watching.
15. Sit back down in your comfortable chair, that will inspire you to work.
16. Read over the assignment again to make sure you really understand it.
17. Check your email, myspace, and facebook all over again.
18. Look at your facebook status and think, there is no way it's been 3 hours since I updated that.
19. Open your notes and books.
20. Think about the fact that you really should have emailed your parents, grandparents, and a friend from singing school last week. So go and do that.
21. Get up and streach.
22. Write the header to your paper.
23. Think about how boring the title sounds.
24. Pick out some music to inspire you to work.
25. Sing several songs.
26. Call the friend from earlier to see if he's finished his yet. Talk about anything else for another thirty minutes.
27. Sit down in your comfortable chair, decide it's not actually that comfortable and take your brother's that looks exactly the same
28. Read over the assignment, because the third time is the charm.
29. Realize that you have not yet checked for comments on your blogspot, so go check it.
30. Go and see if anyone else has posted.
31. Get desperate and check and see if anyone you know, knows anyone who has posted.
32. Next do one of two things, read everyone's really old post or just write a new one yourself.
33. Find new inspirational music since the last cd has played at least three times at this point.
34. Do some serious thinking about your plans for an academic future.
35. Debate with your brother about your plans for an academic future.
35. Check everything that you can possibly think of online.
36. Give up and swap back to your orginial comfortable chair.
37. Don't bother to read the assignment again, just type.
38. Check your myspace one last time, really I promise.
39. Doze off.
35. Wake up with a keyboard print in your check, and lots of jibberish on your screen.
36. Type the paper at lightening speed and don't forget to print it.
37. Get ready for class: fight the brother for the shower, then argue over counterspace.
38. Leave for class but only get out of the parking lot before realizing that you didn't brush your teeth or pick up your paper off the printer tray, so go back.
39. Spend the first ten to fifeteen minutes of class looking for parking.
40. Turn paper in, alternate complaining on the complete lack of time to write a good paper with bragging on the ability to procrastinate, yet finish it on time.
On a serious note, I promise a REAL blog soon, in fact as soon as finals are over.

1 comment:

strem said...

I am laughing out loud. Too many of these tactics seem all too familiar.