My four year old going on 24.  You are all fire and passion.  You are ornery and difficult.  You are uniquely you.  Nothing like our other children, you have a will of steel and sense of self that few others can match.  You have opinions and demands, and you are not willing to be someone you aren't.  Sometimes that makes it feel like we are living with a tiny terrorist dictator, other days it is like a day at the most exciting roller coaster park in the world.

Balancing where you are with where you need to be is often like walking a tight rope.  I can respect and appreciate when you want your space.  You are never obliged to give someone a hug or talk to someone just because they want you too.  And yet I also have to remind you that being courteous is required.  You don't have to give family members a hug, but you do have to say no thank you, rather than screech at them.  You don't have to talk with anyone, and you can walk away from a conversation, but you can't cut hateful eyes in the process.  It's a fine line.  You cannot be bribed or cajoled, into doing anything.  And you are not open to negotiation once you have made up your mind.  Your father already prays for and pities the boy you will one day marry.  But we can also see that you won't be one affected by peer pressure.  You won't back down from something just because it is difficult.  You will stand firm in your beliefs and not be swayed by any passing trend or even the harsh storms of life.  Those traits that make parenting you so very difficult (and exhausting) will be the very things that will enable you to be a woman who is going to make a big impact on the world around her.

You have been telling me that you will be eight instead of four, and it is true you are in a hurry to broach everything in life.  Last night you even said that you wanted to be 11.  You have asked to start school so for the last year I give you "assignments" as we work.  You have play dough time, and time with kinetic sand.  You also practice saying your numbers to Daddy for "math" and always, always skip seven.  You love to write notes, and letters during free write Friday, and constantly tell me to spell words for you, even though you aren't actually forming any letters other than maybe an o and a never ending sea of w and M.  You enjoy drawing pictures of you and me.  We always have long legs attached right to our heads.  Sometimes you even allow your siblings to be in the picture.

You have an interesting relationship with your siblings.  You rotate through indifference to the twins, to talking to them and playing with them.  You will insist that Will is your baby one day, and the next you will tell me that you don't like him.  You insist that you are a biggie girl, but also will climb up in the chair with my while I nurse, and tell me that I am done now, and you need to sit with me "without him."  You like to play with Britt, but only on your prerogative.  You are quick to use him as your champion though, when one of the girls has "wronged" you.  With Ruth you mostly adapt a position of Queen of the Universe and order her around.  She has been quick to baby you, but is also getting tired of your failure to ask her anything nicely.  At the same time, if any one fusses at you about your behavior, she (not to far followed by Britt) is the first to try to sooth your hurt feelings.  Rebecca you seem to have a love-hate relationship with.  You absolutely LOVE playing all the things with her.  She lets you play games with her and with toys that she won't let the others play with.  You are often willing to let her boss you around in order to play a game with her.  Something that no one else can pull off.  And yet, the second she tries to tell you to help her pick up your room, or that Momma said to go brush your teeth with her, the screaming and willfulness come out full force.

And that brings me to our biggest struggle with you right now.  Teaching you to curb your will.  Obedience doesn't come natural to you, in that I can well sympathize, but it is something for your safety and well being that you are going to have to learn.  In jest playing a silly game with Daddy the other day you called him stupid.  I reminded you that is not ok, even in a game, and told you to apologize.  You refused.  You then spent the next 3.5 hours sitting in your room on your bed, not asleep, and not with toys, before you were ready to walk in there and mumble sorry.

And yet that same persistence and boundless energy, has you almost riding a bike far younger than any of the others.  You love to spend time running behind your siblings outside, riding your bike on the sidewalk, and drawing with chalk on the drive way.  You also like to let yourself outside to play with the dogs "BY MYSELF!"  while we do school.  In fact, you are perfectly happy most of the time to be left to your own devices, rather than play with others.  And of course, if you get to monopolize the tv, you are quite happy to do so.  Your current obsession is Bluey, which has replaced first Masha and Bear as well as Puppy Dog Pals this year.  You like to play "Daddy Robot" with Daddy, and if nothing else, has helped you to find more fun with him, and be a little less needy and clingy with me.

I've recently finished a book on Empress Matilda, Lady of the English and her fight to secure the throne for her son Henry.  I've seen more than a few parallels between both Matilda and Henry and yourself.  I can well imagine you as a lawyer arguing cases before the Supreme Court, or an Advocate for a cause, leading to a change in legislation. I can see you as the first person to walk on Mars, or to discover a cure for a rare childhood disease.  I know that the Lord is going to do great things with you, I just hope we survive raising you to see it.

We love you so very much, Katydid,

Love,
Momma