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The Joy of My Salvation

 

Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation. ~Habakkuk 3:18


So much later than pretty much everyone else in the known world, we had our first day back to school today.  Last night the kids picked out what they wanted to wear today, since we would need to get up and head up to the school for their speech evaluations.  I had planned to take their pictures afterward, but since we had a downpour going on at the house, I opted to do them before.  Britt spent 20 minutes deciding on clothes last night.  He wanted all of his favorite things in his outfit.  So we needed a T-Rex Shirt and cowboy boots.  He also thought his Captain America socks were wonderful because they were both military, and SuperHero, and a little like the American flag.  He went back and forth between this hat (his Indiana Jones Hat) and his newsboy cap.  In fact, he changed his mind for a final time this morning.  I didn't have the heart to inform him that he couldn't wear it in the school building anyway.  Ultimately he opted to leave it at home so that it didn't get wet.  He also just knew he *NEEDED* a belt.  Just a little ridiculous, since he can't be bothered to wear one to Church or ever tuck his shirt in, any other time.  Ruth and Rebecca both just wanted something with leggings.  And Ruth picked the first outfit in her closet that was both leggings and shirt sleeve.  Then she told me she'd decide what to do with her hair in the morning, to see what she felt like, so headband it was.  Rebecca looked through everything 3 times, and then picked the thing, she picked out before she looked at anything.  I think she just wanted to be difficult.


The speech evaluations went well this morning.  We probably won't have the results back for a month, but initial thoughts are that Britt doesn't need any speech therapy, Rebecca might qualify for enunciation issues, and Ruth almost definitely will for both enunciation, pronunciation, and a slight stutter.  All in all, they did pretty well at the school.  We sat in the lunchroom, while they took turns going back alone.  Considering that it was eating into what is normally their morning playtime (or as Britt insists we call it recess), and that I had to actually wake the older two up to get ready this morning, I thought we did well.  Kate went to sleep in the car seat on the way, and slept through the entire hour and a half process and all the way back home again.


We picked up the schedule where we were so for our first day we knocked out history, lunch, read alouds, Bible verse memorization, handwriting, setting up our computer schooling, phonics, and reading to me.  We only missed math, journaling, and spelling because of the morning out of the house, and working out some kinks in the computer in the afternoon.  We even still managed a short trip up to the playground at the end of the day.  Of course, I spent a good chunk of this evening after supper and bedtime, working up some things for tomorrow, and adjusting the week's plans.  But all in all it was pretty good first day back to school.  Less problems than I would have guessed.


And for the inquiring minds, Kate wasn't cooperative at all today.  She never managed her second nap, so she spent a good chunk of the day crying.  Crying in the baby bed, crying in the swing, crying in the car seat, crying on her quilt in the floor.  She just wanted to be held, and while I held her a lot, I can't do everything with her in my arms, or in the carrier.  And then by this evening she was so, so tired it was ridiculous.  She even cried tonight in the bathtub which she loves.  So, I came through while Gary was trying to reason with her and handed her a bathtub book.  To be precise I propped it open on her belly.  She was quiet and staring at it for a good 10 minutes.  So when she started fussing.  Gary turned the page.  Hoping she settles down, in the next week.  I know she has been held a lot lately, and I love to do it.  But it's easier to work on Handwriting with Britt or teaching Rebecca how to form letters when I can actually show them what to do with their bodies, and when my handwriting actually doesn't look like a baby is bouncing all over me.


11:59 PM No random thoughts

In the few days that we were home this week, I finished getting ready for a new year of school.  Before we left for Alabama, I spent alot of time working out a new school schedule, new chore charts, and revamping things around here.  It's something I've gradually implemented.  We got the new bedtime routine in place, and then the new morning routine.  I got the new chore chart in place the week before we left.  All that's left to add back in is our school working during the day.


For a while I have wanted some type of command center.  I keep up with everything in my planner, but often Gary isn't sure when something is happening.  I've told him he can always check it, but I suppose he'd rather not.  Also during the day the kids often don't know what's going on next.  I've wondered if having things more visible for them would help them know what to keep up with what's next, and I color coded what's going on, just like I do in my school planner.


I have some of the school supplies that I need to reach quickly on the little curio shelf.  It looks really nice.  I have my basket hanging from my key hooks to hold the small dry erase board that Rebecca will be using this year for school, along with the ECLP that I'm using this year for a homeschool planner.  I thought I would try it out and see if I could get away with a smaller planner.  It seems like it will work for my weekly planning, and daily lesson plans, but I am missing all the extra pages that I use for notes and field trips, and things.


The cork board gives me one spot to keep everything.  So, I don't have some stuff on the fridge, on the desk, on the counter.   Since I'm also trying to take on some more of the cooking, since Gary's celery season is about to kick off I am trying to be a little more proactive with meal planning this fall.  Gary is particular about meat, so he has done the meat shopping ever since we got married.  So, for a while we have meal planned around the sale ads, combined with whatever we feel like eating in a given night.  Since we are going to allow the kids to be doing some stuff in the evenings this school year (like 4-H and GEMS), I need to have a better plan for cooking, since I'm a bit limited in that area.  I took a spare ECTP back cover, and cut the holes off, I took a permanent marker to label it, and then with some dry erase markers, wa-la, I have something we can easily see.  Again, color coded for who is cooking.


For now, I have the kids caddies sitting in the floor under everything.  I really wish I had a shelf for them, but I don't right now.  They are a little wide for a wall shelf, but take up so much space on the bookshelves that I need for storing school books, that I haven't yet thought of another solution.  Rebecca was so excited to get her's in the mail a few months ago.  She seems really excited to be starting school with everyone this fall.  Last year she wanted to work with us quite often, but wasn't really ready.  Britt and Ruth had her scared about doing "hard school" like them, but she seems to have settled down, when I reassured her that she wouldn't be doing that stuff yet, and that by the time she was ready for that it wouldn't be so hard anyway.


I have used navy and blue and white on all of our school stuff.  I worked up a school name, letter head, and such when we were in PA to make all of our correspondence look more professional.  It's nothing I had to do, but I find that the school district takes you more seriously and treats you with a greater degree of professional courtesy when you good the extra step to make things seem more business like and use the educational terms.  Anyway, the bag I've used for several years now, is still the go to place for the kids notebooks and the current read aloud, along with an assortment of pens and pencils and things.  This is the bag I grab if we are going to be doing school on the go.  But I also got the triple duty caddy this year when I hosted a 31 party.  (All of these bags are 31, They are really nice, and top notch quality.)  I'm planning to use it to hold some of the books and resources that the kids will need on a daily basis, along with some of the things I frequently use with them.  Right now those items are on the bookcases that hold all of our school materials, and organized in my desk. I want as much as possible this year to have everything we need in the dining room, where we do school.  I think the kids lose focus and I know I lose time, having to go and fetch things from other rooms.  All and all I'm really looking forward to starting our new school year tomorrow.


1:07 PM No random thoughts

My Abigail,

Two years, it's been two years.  Last night I woke up and for a minute I thought I was in PA laying in bed the night we found out, the night before we were induced.  It was kind of traumatic and I had to reach for your Daddy's arm.  I asked him today, when it would get easier, he just gave me a hug.  It doesn't hurt all the time anymore, and I think I've gotten some better.  Most of the time I can talk about you without my voice cracking and crying.  I think I've gotten better at hiding those times when I'm missing you and hurting.  But this time of year is still so hard.  Every day past Ruth's birthday seems harder and harder.


We had a really wonderful time at the Rich Mountain Association this year. But you were on my mind a lot. Thursday night the two sermon's preached were about what to think on and what to do in suffering. The elders used the text in Romans that hangs on our wall at home "For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us." And the text about David losing his newborn son that we had etched on your stone from II Samuel "I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me." On Friday I walked the cemetery, I have always loved doing that, but now I especially notice the graves of children. There was a very new one, a stillborn baby from this year. I later found out it was the niece of a new friend.


The singing in the meeting was unbelievable.  And while we were there, I had the chance to request a song not in our songbook, sung to the tune in the Harp of Ages.  One that has made me think of you ever since we lost you.  The entire song is about singing praise in Heaven, but one line reads,
While angelic legions, with harps tuned celestial,
Harmoniously join in the concert of praise,
The saints of the flock from the regions terrestrial,
In loud hallelujah their voices will raise;
Then songs to the Lamb shall re-echo through heaven,
I have always liked thinking that when we sit down in song service to sing.  That at the same moment you too are singing praise in Heaven above.  It's nice to imagine that we can join together in one of the things that your Daddy and I love most.  And that tune is so happy.  It was so uplifting to be in the services all weekend.











Then we were able to witness the Eclipse on Monday.  To see the beauty, detail, and care God put into making the Sun.  I'm sure that he spent just as much time shaping you, even though we never knew you, like the sun's corona is never seen, only glimpsed from time to time.  I've already written about it, but to imagine the speed and clarity as it moved from total eclipse into daylight again, to imagine getting to heaven and knowing.  To finally be at peace about all of this.  To see God with my own eyes.  Knowing you.


We had plans to take a boat out on Lake Okeechobee today for the first time.  To do something special for your siblings, like last year.  To celebrate your birthday.  More than anything I didn't want it to be just another ordinary day.  But it didn't work out.  The weather didn't cooperate, and the boat people took this weekend off for their vacation.  We played a game of Sorry, had a picnic lunch on the way up to see you (since your siblings claimed they were starving and couldn't wait another minute).  Your Daddy picked out some really pretty pink cupcakes.  We all had one and left one again this year for you, after swinging a bit and singing your song.  But it seems such a pathetic way to try to keep your memory alive... since it seems like there are no memories.














I guess it will never be enough, a lifetime of shadows of what should have been.  Your Daddy says he thinks of you most when people ask how old our children are or when he sees pictures of them together and he sees the "hole" or as I have said the missing stair step. I guess I just want you to know that we love you and miss you, and even though you aren't celebrating your birthday in heaven, we are here.

Love,
Momma


10:52 PM 1 random thoughts
Sweet Katherine,

I just put you down for the night.  Today marks your 3 month birthday. The past month has flown.  You took you first major road trip.  We went to Cool Springs in GA for their annual meeting, continued up to Alabama to let you meet all the family, and then traveled to Arkansas for the Rich Mountain Association.  After that we met back up with Grumps and Ahna in Tennessee to view the eclipse.  For the most part you were a great traveler.  You slept alot, and made a few long stretches that helped us to get down the road.  We had one stretch in Tennessee where you cried about 20 minutes strait or so, but I had told your Daddy that you weren't done eating after we got gas.

In the last month you have found your voice.  You aren't very talkative or very loud, until someone turns you around and talks to you.  You'll lay there looking up at my face with big eyes, and after I talk to you, and pause, then you will happily answer and smile.  We take turns talking you and I.  You seem to listen so intently, and it tickles me to watch you try to move your tongue to copy the shapes and sounds I make.  We haven't yet heard you laugh, but I do love your little voice.


This month you have also begun to roll over.  While in Alabama, each morning you were in the floor, Ahna and I would watch.  She was hoping to see a first, since she's not had the opportunity with the others.  And one day, while we stepped out for just a minute to move the cars, you rolled over.  No joke, it was like the second we walked out of the door.  Britt came running out to tell me that you had rolled over.  We haven't seen it since.  Then today, you were laying in the floor again, and I stepped away for about 3 minutes, just long enough to run Rebecca some water to wash dishes.  When all of a sudden Ruth hollers, "She's rolled over Momma!" and sure enough, there you were laying on your stomach again.  Of course you would repeat it for me, you rotten thing.


One other surprise today, was finding a tooth.  I suspected on Monday that I might be feeling one, but I wasn't sure.  In fact, I about talked myself out of it, because who ever heard of a 3 month old cutting a tooth.  But Unca Benji looked it up, and sure enough it's possible.  Daddy confirmed tonight that he felt it too.  It's not through the gum yet, but it's in enough to be sure that it's there.  I wish you'd have waited.  I love the gummy smile, with no teeth.  So, I'm putting in a request stop working on teeth.  That one can just sit there like that a few months ok?











I packed up most of the 0-3 things, just leaving out a few dresses.  You are too long to fasten them.  Of course some of the 0-3 shorts and skirts are still practically falling off of you.  You are all length, but you still love to ball up to cuddle with me.  You also like to ball up on your side to sleep.  We managed to get you to sleep in a pack in play the entire time we were gone.  Before we left, most nights I was having to get you to sleep in the swinger then move you.  We will probably move you to your crib in the next week or so.  I told Gary I kinda hate to move you, since you may be the last baby.  I got ridiculously tear eyed about it, even though I haven't been that way with any of your siblings.  But if you really are going to be rolling over, I really can't keep you in the cradle much longer.


You are still a good sleeper, going somewhere between 6 to 8 hours almost very night.  Occasionally when we were on the road, you'd sleep your long stretch during the day, and be up to eat at night.  But you have been a great sleeper.  You still go back to sleep in the morning after you eat, and you are taking two naps one around lunch time, and one late in the afternoon.

You still aren't a fan of laying on your stomach, but you are getting better about it.  You don't seem to mind to much to be on your back.  You have started paying more attention to the toys that your siblings dangle in front of you and smile and watch them when they "play with you."  They all adore you.  And want to do things for you.  Britt is aggravated when I tell him not to pick you up or carry you around.  He's only done it a few times, but insists that he is able to.  Ruth doesn't seem to mind to change your diapers, and she is good to help you with your pacifier in the car.  Rebecca just likes to throw away diapers, get right in your face to talk to you, and play with your toys while telling me "Kate likes me to play with her toys so she can watch."

My little rainbow, you bring us great joy, and each day we thank God for you.  We love you!

Momma
10:57 PM No random thoughts

 Ever since I can remember, Daddy has loved astronomy.  He woke us up in the middle of the night to see comets, taught us the constellations, showed us how to find the planets, and always shared his amazement at this distant part of God's creation.  We have always had telescopes and star charts.  He always got an Astronomy magazine in the mail.  Because star gazing in North Alabama is best in the winter, we often had on pajamas and winter coats trying to stay warm to see the space station fly over, or hope to make it long enough to see a meteor shower.  However, one thing I have never seen (and Daddy either for that matter) was a solar eclipse.



Daddy's been talking about this event for more than a year.  And we all started trying to tentatively plan something around this time last year.  We didn't finalize plans until shortly before Katherine was born.  But we all knew we really wanted to see this, and we didn't want to just see a partial eclipse, but since we were SO close, we knew we wanted to see totality.


Yesterday we all met in Smyrna Tennessee, with plans to drive up to Cedars of Lebannon state park this morning.  It worked out marvelous.  Britt who is always complaining that we never do nature walks in the woods anymore (kinda hard in S. Florida where there are no woods), got to take a long hour or so meander down several trails with me and Rebecca.  The kids played with some velcro balls, like we kids and cousins use to use hanging out all day for the balloon races.  We pulled out a frisbee which Ruth lost in the woods and a kickball, that Neela liked playing with as much as the kids.  Katherine napped on a blanket much of the time.  And ever so often we checked in on the status of the eclipse watching it get closer and closer to complete.


I've read about solar eclipses, watched videos, seen pictures.  But it didn't REMOTELY compare to seeing one in person. In the roughly hour leading up to totality.  You could gradually feel the temp drop, and tell that the sun wasn't as bright as usual.  The shadows began to have a sharper contrast like near sunset, but they don't lengthen any.  As more time passed we saw Venus appear high in the sky.  In the last minute or so before totality, it goes from daylight to twilight almost immediately.  MUCH faster than any of us expected.  As you look around at the horizon it is a redish purplish color like at the very end of day, but it's on all sides not only in the west.  The crickets came alive, and then we saw Jupiter and Arcturus in the sky.  But the most amazing part was seeing the Sun's corona.  It wasn't at all as expected.  The sky was a deep rich navy, and it was the faintest feathery white.  It appeared to move almost like a flare or almost like a white sheer curtain moving in a breeze.  It doesn't really move, it's only the way the light passes through the atmosphere, but it was stunning.  It was an unbelievable view of a portion of God's handiwork that is impossible to view at any other time.


It was the fastest 2 minutes and 15 seconds of my life.  I attempted to snap a couple of pictures, but the quality isn't much.  Daddy captured a few pictures with his good camera, and while they look good, they just don't look like the eclipse.  In the photo at the top the three spikes along the light, were all we were able to see, much fainter, the rest glowing is a flare on the lenses, and that's after I edited to dim them as much as possible.  The bottom picture, He took as the moon was moving back out, and it sorta gives you the idea of the diamond ring phase. Though again, most of what you see is a flare on the lenses.


It was a really moving experience.  I just can't explain it.  I didn't expect it to be so amazing.  As the sun came back into view, it was brilliantly bright almost instantaneously.  And we all had to grab the glasses again.  The kids thought it was pretty amazing too.  Ruth was probably the most interesting to listen too.  While they all would look and play and then look again.  She did the most, and every time was an excited exclamation.  "Look it looks like a cookie someone took a bite out of!"  Then, "It's half way gone!"  And, "It's just like the Cheshire cat's grin side ways!"  Then "It's just the yellow in a rainbow!"  And finally there was cheering and giggling, and shouting from the kids and Grumps and everyone in the entire park.  It was a sight to behold.  After totality, much of the park left, and we went back to the car and sat around having a picnic lunch.  Benjamin and Grumps, and I all watched the very end nearly an hour later, as many of the cars finally were gone.  I kinda mournfully said, it just looks like a wheel of cheese with a tiny nibble out of it, and then it was perfectly round again, back to normal.




We had a great time, and it was even better getting to do it with Daddy.  As Gary and I drove back to the hotel with 4 kids asleep in the back.  I told him, it reminded me of the verse in  II Corinthians 13:12, "For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known."  I imagine in that split second as we leave this life and move into the next, that it will be like going from the total eclipse to the brilliance of full light again.  And that thought was beyond comforting and moving.  I can't wait for that day, and I so do look forward to that knowing.



8:16 PM No random thoughts

Happy Birthday, Ruthea!

This year we are spending your birthday in Alabama.  You loved the idea.  Asking to spend the day playing croquet with Grumps and Ahna, Unca Benji, Unca Matthew, Grandmother and Granddaddy, Unca Nick and Aunt Alex and Knox, and Unca Clint, Aunt Melanie, and Aunt Maghen.  You wanted to then go to Applebee's with all of them and have birthday cake.  It's not going to work out the way you wanted, between the rain and everyone else having to work.  But I hope you have a fun day anyway.

8-14
9-25














You are growing so much.  We packed up all the size 6 clothing a couple of weeks.  All the tops were getting too tight and short.  You played t-ball again this year, and really enjoyed it.  Daddy was your coach, and you were one of the best on the team.  You are also learning to ride your bike with training wheels.  You made such strides this last year in school.  You and Britt are starting on the third grade math book when we start back to school in 2 weeks.  You have learned all the phonics rules for reading, and are picking out more and more phrases when we are out and about or when you see signs on the tv.  You have also finally quit taking naps during the day.  This year I suspect we'll be starting speech therapy back, because I feel like you really need it.

9-6, School
4-5, School














You are still my sunshine, and when you are happy you can light up a room.  You seem to find joy in every day things, which is something you already surpass me in.  You love the rain and to run and play in it.  You love lizards and have named all of the ones at our house.  You never cease to believe that one day your Daddy will let you have a black and white kitten that you will name mittens.  But when you are mad (like you are at the moment) it is like a thunderstorm of epic proportions.  When you think you have been slighted in some way, you will stay made for ages, with your fist clenched, a look of pure rage on your face, but not making a sound.
3-6, Showing a Lamb at the Strawberry Festival
You still have a tender heart for others.  Something in you that I never cease to be amazed about.  A few weeks ago, you met a new little girl just a couple months younger than you, you wanted to go up to her and talk to her and be her friend, because you said she must be lonely being new here.  When you overheard that her momma and daddy had just gotten a divorce, you told me that she couldn't imagine how sad she'd be if her momma and daddy didn't live together anymore, and that your new friend would need extra love.  You seem to be so sensitive to the feelings of others.  By the same token though, it seems to be easy to hurt your feelings.  I suppose it comes with your sensitivity to others.  Sometimes the smallest things seem to set you off, and leave you in tears for days.  I have great sympathy for you in this.  We rarely seem to know how easily we can hurt others, even though we don't mean to.

3-30, Our Egyptian Supper

The two biggest change in you this year were joining the Church and becoming a big sister yet again.  In December you began almost out of nowhere taking notes, and asking about being a Church member.  In January you were baptized, and ever since then have been so happy about Church things.  Your desire to join the Church and serve others has brought your Daddy and I more joy than you can imagine.  We have also had a roller coast year finding out that we were going to have another baby, finding out that our baby would be another sister, being scared of the possibility of losing another baby, to finally bringing her home.  You were overjoyed that she looked like you.  You have high hopes for her.  Love to baby her, talk to her, and hold her.  You don't even mind helping me change diapers.

5-25, Meeting Kate

We also bought our first home in the last year.  Since that time you have designed and bought plants to make your own fairy garden, with very little input from me.  You have done alot of fishing with Daddy and are even beginning to help him clean fish.  You are sharing a room with Rebecca, one that you helped chose things for -  a purple fairy room with a real crystal chandelier.

4-1, Ruth's fish.
Ruth in some ways you are so old for your age, in others you are obviously still our little girl.  We love you so much, and are thankful that we get to raise you.  Daddy and I love you.

Love,
Momma

4-16, Easter Sunday.
8-14, With her hair up in braids.


1:59 PM No random thoughts
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Two Primitive Baptist met online and fell in love, and all these years later that love has only grown. Through job loss, moves around the country, having 7 children, including one who was stillborn, and the day to day challenges of homeschooling; we are still committed to each other and the Church.

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