The Joy of My Salvation

Rebecca Joy,

Happy 8th Birthday! I didn't get your letter written last year, so I thought I had better sit down while Ahna was holding your brothers, and do it right now! In some ways, you are still the same girl I wrote about in your 6th birthday letter - feisty and dramatic, full of ideas, and never at a loss for words.

You are still my star pupil in school. You have had a little more trouble with your reading over the last year, but learning the more complex vowel sounds is tougher than the short vowels and long vowels with a silent e. You have whized through your math book, and while you don't have a lot of speed with them yet, you already know your multiplication tables 0 through 10. You are still not fond of math, but you do like to play multiplication bang. You enjoy the story telling aspect of history and doing science experiments, but I don't worry too much yet about you retaining the underlying concepts. You are still very forgetful and so you have more trouble with spelling words and remembering spelling rules, but you are young and have lots of time.

You are a wonderful sister to Kate. After spending the last few weeks in Alabama with her, Ahna told me how much you helped her, how you played with her, and rarely lost patience with her. It makes me happy to see you two together, and you love sharing bunk beds in your room, that you helped plan and paint and set up this past year. You and Ruth still have a more rocky relationship. She is more bossy and stand offish with you, and you just can't stand that. Other days you two play together and have a great time. Britt is still the one you look up to and want approval from, which often leads you two into loud and foolish endeavors. You have been helpful with the twins too. You don't mind to hold them and sing to them, though I don't let you carry them around. Sometimes you help with diapers, but you really haven't completely got the hang of that yet.

You are by far our social butterfly though. You have made friends with every kid in a three block radius, and they have frequently come to see if you are back home from Alabama yet. You make friends with everyone at the park and McDonald's. You strike up random conversations in the grocery store, and seem to have an ability to welcome people and put them at ease. You are incredibly literal which gives us all a good laugh from time to time. Sometimes you get mad at us for laughing, but very often it is as you try to not laugh yourself. I wouldn't want to make it seem like everything is perfect. You do love to complain, and are very concerned about what you think is fair. (For example, it is apparently unfair to do chores on your birthday, even though you haven't done any chores in 2.5 weeks while being in Alabama.) Good or bad we never have to wonder what you think of something.

You are a wonderful cuddler who gives out lots of hugs, and are an entertaining girl. We love you very much and pray that the Lord continues to bless you with a joyous spirit.

Love,
Momma

1:37 PM No random thoughts

Will and Jon,

You are 5 weeks old yesterday, a month old this past Sunday. With the sleep deprivation it feels like much longer than a month since you two were born. The early newborn stage is rough, I don't enjoy breastfeeding, and you two have been an extra challenge. Will, you are rather vigorous with your latch similar to how Britt was. Jon, you fail to open your mouth enough to make it very comfortable. You both have a somewhat lazy latch. Now that you have both grown some it is going better. On that note, I can't tell you just how much you have grown, since we weren't able to make your doctors appointment this week due to an insurance mix up. So we won't make it in until a week after you turn 2 months.

I can tell that you are growing though. You both feel bigger when I hold you, and you are both out of newborn diapers and preemie clothes now. You are also doing new things every day. Will, you just rolled over for the first time today, and you smiled at me for the first time on Saturday the day before 1 month. I was shocked and looked it up again, and sure enough first smiles in response are usually between 4 and 6 weeks, but it maybe between 8 and 12 weeks before you know what you are doing enough to regularly respond with smiles. Jon, you graced me with a couple of grins while I was talking to you tonight, fussing about babies who are wide eyed at 1:30 am.

It is a relief that we are starting to get closer to a schedule for the two of you. You are both eating during the day right about every three hours, but you are starting to stretch the feeds at night. Often at night that looks like Jon waking first and eating for 40 mins or so and then as he finishes up then Will wakes to eat. Other times especially during the day you wake together, and I feed you both at the same time. That has taken practice, but the three of us are getting better at it. It helps to have a big pillow in the bed, or use the nursing pillow on the couch or my desk chair. I have also figured out that with Jon's brace it is easier to lay him in a cradle position first, and then fit Will kinda on top turned in the same direction. You two seem to have no complaints with being stacked on top of each other like firewood. A few times we have even managed that at night nursing while lying down, because I have been so exhausted. Thankfully at night one or both of you are going 4 to 5 hours between feeds. It makes a world of difference to feed you somewhere between midnight and 2 and then to not need to feed you again till sometime between 4 and 6.

You are a little more alert during the day now, even though you still prefer to be held. Sometimes you will lay on the play mat while Britt plays Nintendo. Other times he and Ruth each hold one of you while watching Pokemon or something else on the tv. You are both better sleepers in the morning, and seem more content during the day. About 7:30 or so, you both will begin to fuss and have to continuously feed till we get you down for the night around midnight. You seem to be discontent with everyone but me at that time.

You are both exhausting, but a real joy. And my favorite part is still when I get one on one time to snuggle you on my chest and smell your soft hair. Your daddy and I feel so blessed to have you both.

I love you,

Momma

12:53 PM No random thoughts

What's in a name? We have thought a great deal about each of the names for our children, and you two boys are no different. We always look for a Biblical name and names with special meaning. Your names is something you carry with you for the rest of your life, so we have always wanted to give each of you a name that shares some of our hopes and dreams for you. With you being twins we had a little of an extra challenge in that we wanted you to both have your own unique name and also to have names that worked together since you are twins.

When thinking about it, no two men seemed to be closer friends in the Bible than David and Jonathan. Despite not actually being brothers, they had a beautiful relationship of brothers. Each loving the other more than himself. Jonathan though in line to the throne as Saul's son, recognized God passing the kingdom to David. And David even after the death of Jonathan sought to honor his memory in caring for his family. We hope you both remain close, always seeking what's best for each other.

We have long liked the name William David, having it in mind for Ruth if she had been a boy, 10 years ago. William is an old name an English name coming from an even older Norman/Viking/Germanic name. It is a name that I have seen attached both to wonderful folks in history of strong and noble character like William Marshal, and some truly despicable characters like Burke and Hare the Irish serial murderers. However, the name means resolute protector, and we hope you will take that to heart and protect and look out for others. David is one our favorite men from the Bible. A man after God's own heart, and means beloved of God. He made some terrible mistakes in life, just like all men do, but he also was willing to confess and seek forgiveness for those sins and faults. It seems so simple to do but is actually really difficult in practice.

Jonathan means gift of God. And while we feel like all of you children are gifts from God. To find out we were pregnant with twins when we thought we were done having children, felt like an extra special gift after losing your older sister. It reminded me a bit of the end of the book of Job, where he is blessed with more children. They don't replace those that he lost, but were a great joy in his old age. Jonathan was brave and had great faith in God. He expressed that God could save by many or few and was willing to go against his father the king to protect David because it was the right thing to do, not the easy thing. Lynn has two different meanings from the Welsh it means a lake, from the Hebrew it refers to a large tree that is a landmark. Which leads to my next point. Between the two of you, you have been named for three men that have made a great impact in our lives.

Will, you are named for Eld. David Montgomery and Eld. David Crawford. While, we know many preachers who share this name, Bro David Montgomery in particular has made a great impact on both your Daddy and I. As a young teenager, he made a huge impact on me and the way I view the Church. When we were dating we talked at length about one of his sermons from the book of Ruth that made a huge impact on Daddy. He has been through some trials and encouraged us a great deal during a time of trouble in the Church and when we went through a period of unemployment. He is not only a good and knowledgeable preacher, but a man who is always an encouragement to God's people both in word and deed. A man who can find the lighter side in any situation. We love and respect him very much. Eld. David Crawford has a sweet heart and unfailing devotion to God that he abundantly shows by His care for the people of God whether in MacClenny Church, sister Churches, or the community where he lives. We hope you will be a protector of others, a man after God's own heart, a man who is wise enough to admit his faults and can still laugh at himself who always seeks the welfare of God's people.

Jon, you are named for both Eld. Jonathan Cook and your Grumps. Bro. Jonathan is also a knowledgeable preacher, that we enjoy to hear, but his true strength is having the heart of a pastor. He has a genuine care for others and great humility. We will be forever thankful for the time we lived in PA and were able to have him as our pastor. It is rare to find someone even in the Church with whom you have such much in common. You are also named after Grumps, who is the wisest person I know. He thinks and listens more than he speaks, and even though we don't always agree, his thoughts are always worth considering. Grumps is very patient and long suffering. Both of these men despite being very serious about the things of God, are alot of fun with their family and friends. We hope you will be a man of great faith, who gives great thought to others and the things of God, seeking with all humility to honor God in all you do, someone who is a joy to be around.

2:46 PM No random thoughts

9:02 PM No random thoughts

We now have 3 sons all born on a Thursday in January. Early on Thursday, January 7th, we got up and left the kids and Ahna at the house around 4 am. They had us scheduled to be at Tampa General at 5:30 to prepare for a c section. When we arrived, over the next two hours, we signed lots of paperwork, we went over various drug choices with the Nurse Anthesiologist, and started an iv line. Finally Gary changed into scrubs and they showed him where to put our stuff in recovery, after one last ultrasound where we found Baby A's feet propped up on my cervix knees bent with his backside sitting on the side of my pubic bone and B's face. It was disappointing but expected.

The worst part was having to walk into the freezing cold ER alone and get the spinal without Gary in there. It hurt every bit as bad as I had heard, but at least the contractions I'd been having for several weeks weren't that strong, so I wasn't trying to deal with them and the spinal. Another nurse held my hand, I squalled all while trying my best to not move, and the Nurse Anthesiologist talked me through everything, until they had things ready for Gary to come in. She was worth her weight in gold, and I thanked her several times. She stayed right by me the entire time, and explained what was happening and what to expect. We had already talked about how that helped my anxiety a lot to know what was going on.

It was really unnerving to not feel cold or heat or them cutting, but to feel the pulling in other areas because everything is connected. It was also a little scary toward the end that I knew I had to be breathing but I couldn't feel myself breathing anymore. It took very little time to get both boys out. William David was born breech at 8:27 am, weighing in at 7 lbs and 7 oz and 20 inches long. He had way more vernix than any of our others have had, and they immediately started rubbing him and getting all the fluid out of him so that he would cry. It first I wasn't sure if I could touch him, but I got to rub his check through the clear drape and at that moment he started crying. They kept him them for about half a minute, before handing him off to finish suctioning fluid out. During that 30 seconds, Baby B thought that looked like fun, so he turned breech too. I had asked if it was possible could they be born in the caul, and let me see it before they broke their water. I have always thought it would be neat to see, and they told me it was possible if they were head first, but not for breech babies. So we missed out on seeing that. Jonathan Lynn was born at 8:28 weighing in at 5 lbs and 15 oz and 19 inches long. I was able to rub his hand through the clear drape and hear him make the most pitiful little meowling cry before they took him to suction and clean up.

Will

Jon

When they were cleaned up and weighed and checked out the NICU team gave them the all clear to stay with me. It seemed like it was taking a while but I am sure it wasn't that long before Gary brought Will over. By that point I was super drowsy, and it was hard to lift my arm to touch him, so Gary held him for me, while they kept an eye on my always low blood pressure. After a few minutes Gary handed Will off to the nurses and brought Jon over the same way. After a few minutes they set Gary up with both of the boys in the recovery area in a warmer, so they could finish up with me. They told me that I bleed a lot partly because of needing to cut through a placenta (both of mine were anterior this time), but not outrageously high for twins.

Will and Jon

Jon and Will

I stayed in recovery from 9:14 till 12:30. Despite me and the boys dosing they both managed to latch on and nurse some during that time. We also all three slept some with Daddy to keep an eye on things. We were able to get situated in our room by 1. It took a little time, as they found us a bigger room to have a little extra space with double the equipment for the twins. By 2 or 3, I was semi alert, Gary had unpacked, and at that point we were able to finally begin calling family members. I was about to start getting up a little after 5 pm.

Will

Jon

They are all well. Jon does have a congenital hip malformation, and will need a brace for at least the first three weeks, but that should stop his left hip from popping in and out of socket. Both boys will need to follow up with the pediatric osteo doc since they were both delivered breech. Jon still has a bit of fluid in his left ear as well, and will need to have a follow up hearing test sometime in the next month. They are both an excellent size and very healthy, after "baking" for so long inside. I have been pretty mobile, but will still have some restrictions on getting out and about, for the first 2 weeks, and then the next four weeks. I am not allowed to lift both babies at once for example. They have asked us to take some additional precautions about getting the boys out due to covid. We are not to introduce them to anyone outside of our household for the next two weeks, but then with mask and hand washing we can start slowly expanding our circle. As one of the nurses told me, it wouldn't be a quick recovery, especially with twins, but everything looked very promising if I will go slowly.

1:03 PM No random thoughts

Dear Britt,

In just more than 2 weeks it will be your birthday. I wanted to write your letter early this year, since I failed to write it last year, and I suspect life will be even crazier for a time after your brothers arrive. You have grown so much that 12 years seems like both a very long time and a very short time since you were born.

You have become a very determined boy, with wild ideas all your own, and a great drive to explore and tinker. You are still enamored with nature, something that has been the case ever since you could walk. Between your rock collection and your ability to find a perfect stick wherever you go, I don’t know that will ever change. You are also fascinated these days with the idea of mechanics and inventing machines. You don’t have the technical knowledge yet to make those ideas come to life, but science and robotics interests you more and more these days. Your love for Nintendo and the challenge the games present have not dulled for your at all. You sometimes talk about learning to design your own game. You certainly have many story ideas that you could pursue. Along with a love of stories, your ability to read and enjoy it continues to grow, and of course you still really enjoy history with me. I am glad to be able to share both the stories of history and the world of the imagination with you. It is one of the ways that you remind me of myself.

You most remind me of your Daddy in your love for the Church. You think a lot about spiritual things, and want to please God, but you struggle with impatience and frustration, much like your Daddy did as a boy. He says in time you will learn to channel it and control it, and he keeps challenging you to help you grow. We continue to hope that as you mature and become a young man, that the love you feel for the Lord and His Church will help you to put aside selfish desires and strive for something better.

One of your very best qualities remains your care for your siblings and others. You still insist on including them when you play with the boys in the neighborhood. You take time to offer to cuddle Kate when she is upset. You find a way to include Rebecca in games, even when she isn’t as skilled as you and Ruth are. You are quick to encourage Ruth in her artistic endeavors. And as you like to share with people you prayed for “brothers” (plural) before we became pregnant, after we told you that you had all the siblings that you were going to get, and God answered those prayers. You wanted to get your and Ruth’s OT teacher a Christmas gift without me even suggesting it. You are quick to share Pokémon cards with a friend you just met at the library.

You are looking forward to being a big brother to brothers this time. You can’t wait to be their hero that they look up to and teach them all the things you think they need to know. You have offered to get up with them at night and change diapers. I can’t wait to see what wonderful things the future has in store for your Britt.

We love you very much,
Momma and Daddy

10:04 AM No random thoughts

Ruth,

I have now failed two years in a row to get your birthday letter written, so think of this as a very late apology. You are now nearly 10.5 years old, and growing in so many ways.

Your favorite subject remains art, and you have enjoyed more than anything learning different technics this year. You enjoy reading for fun now, and have really excelled at math this year. Though I don’t think you particularly like it, when you quit freaking out over a new math lesson, you typically have it mastered in a matter of minutes. You have dreams of working with both art and animals in the future, often discussing being a vet, creating art of pets for others, running a grooming and dog walking business of your own. You are drive to learn things that might help you in those aims. Though I don't always require you kids to write up your results and answer questions following the scientific method for our experiments, just knowing that being a vet is a science, you willingly choose to practice that each time we preform an experiment. And that is leading you to a great care for your writing skills that you didn't have before.

You have a logical mind, with a deep sense of what is right and wrong. What is fair and not. You like things orderly and explainable. We joke that you are your Aunt Manna's child, but in the desire for order and logic in life you are very much like me. I am sorry to share that while these qualities do exist in a subject we both dislike, math, they frequently don't seem to apply to social interactions and life. I hope that you continue to let those things drive you in your care and concern for others, but allow others greater leeway in their actions, and grace for their shortcomings, or you will often find yourself unhappy because others cannot live up to your expectations.

I hope you continue to hold yourself to high standards and fight for those who are marginalized or who are downcast. It is one of your greatest attributes. As much as I want to raise all of you children to use the brains God gave you, and teach you everything I can so that you can later pursue any future path you may desire. As much as I want that, I want above all for you to be the kind of person who honors God, and one way you do that is by sacrificing self for others. Your compassion can be the way you do that. Your Daddy is incredibly self sacrificing for others, and yet when he is personally wronged you will most often see him put aside himself and not retaliate. That takes more strength than you yet realize.

Each day it seems that we see a little less of the little girl and a little more of the woman you are growing into. It is an amazing transformation. To watch you mother Katherine one minute, to play an imaginary game with Britt with laser tag guns in the backyard the next, to hear you say something so grown up and reasonable, and then to laugh with Rebecca over her doll's antics. I cannot wait to see how you will do with your two little brothers next week, when we go home with them. We pray that while difficult this time of transformation may also prove to be lovely. You will find that in much of life the things that are hard prove to be the things that are the most worth while.

We love you very much,

Momma and Daddy

10:10 AM No random thoughts

10:59 PM No random thoughts

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