It is 10:20 at night and for the first time in our lives you both appear to be down and asleep in your own crib.  Sleep has been rather elusive over the last month once again.  While Will, was sleeping from 11 to 3 and again after eating until 7:30, occasionally skipping that 3 am feeding, that hasn't happened but twice in the last month.  Will, you are still the easiest to get down at night and for naps, settling on your stomach and not stirring as much.  Jon, you have defeated your father, and basically sleep every night in our bed.  We rarely even make any effort to try to move you anymore, and just nurse you to sleep in our bed a little before midnight, so that we can try to be going to bed ourselves by then.  You just will not sleep unless you are touching me, and it doesn't seem to matter just how "out of it" you APPEAR to be, you are instantly awake and pitching a fit if I'm not there.  In desperation, we have even tried putting a baby mattress in the floor of our closet, so that I can lay in the floor and nurse you and then slip away.  The longest that has worked is about an hour and a half.  Your Daddy was determined to let you cry it out.  One night you screamed for 20 minutes straight and then abruptly stopped.  Turns out Ruth had woken up and thought she would give us a break by taking you to bed with her.  Another night, Daddy let you go for 37 minutes, before I couldn't stand it any longer and he agreed to let me go and bring you back to our bed.  Saturday night I got to sleep from 12:30 to 6 am, it was the best I've felt in a month or more.  Twin sleep deprivation, could be an effective torture technic for the military.

Naps are really no better than the nights.  Will, you are easier to get down, but still mostly have to be nursed to sleep and wore to stay asleep.  You typically will nap for an hour to an hour and a half so long as Kate and her screechiness or something else doesn't wake you up.  Jon, (it is now 10:40 and you are back awake) Jon, you only cat nap once or twice a day about 20 minutes at a time, and only if I am wearing you.  There is always a chunk of our school day that I have one of you on my back and one on my front, which is unbelievably heavy.  Both of you fight sleep like banshees.  I can watch you fail and jerk your head around in an attempt to make yourself more alert, I've never seen the like.

Will, you seem to love your time in the floor.  You are crawling with a lot of speed, pulling up on EVERYTHING you see, and even taking a few tentative steps along the couch as you hang on.  I pulled out the play yard to block you off a section of the living room, since I couldn't seem to keep you from playing in the dog water bowl, but you hate to be confided.  Sometimes I just move the bowl to the sink and let you have run of the house.  One minute you will be playing with toys so I will sneak off, and then before I know it, I can hear you slapping along the tile as you come to find me, just a grinning.

Jon, you roll around, and in the last week have finally started to inch around a little bit on your belly.  Mostly you move backwards, but occasionally you push yourself forward.  Just this morning, though you've been sitting up for a little while now, you figured out how to get from your stomach to sitting up, all on your own.  Since you really aren't mobile and seem to be frustrated by the entire concept of crawling, you still aren't happy to just hang out in the floor for all that long, before you are fussing to be held and entertained.

(Jon, it is 10:51 and you went back to sleep with Rebecca holding you, Daddy just tried to put you to bed, and he didn't even get his hands off of you before you started fussing, so you are back to nursing in my lap.)  You both have big laughs, big smiles, and love to babble at us.  I still think Jon talks more and uses more sounds, but you both like to talk to us answering us when we pause in talking to you.  You both will reach for me, but it seems to be hit or miss with the others.  Rebecca also thinks you are giving me real kisses now, but I am not sure it happens except when you are still a little hungry so I'm not sure it's genuine.  Neither of you hug back, but Will loves to lean into me and hum so I will give him a good squeeze and grunt.

You both still love bath time and have a real interest in your toys.  Everything goes in your mouth to be explored, so I am constantly policing the floor for dropped food, toys, and school supplies that you don't need.  Both of you really love the small blocks especially Will.  Jon just likes to dump them out and then he doesn't care so much, but Will likes to handle them.  Of course if I try to stack them at all you both immediately start swing at them in a destructive but gleeful rampage.  You aren't as interested in balls or cars, though you both do like the football as you can get one end in your mouth and Hot Wheels cars as they too fit just right in your mouth.

For all that though, Jon you still HATE to eat.  It is rare that we ever get more than 3 to 5 bites into you, and anything we feed you still often ends up being pushed right back out with your tongue, so it takes 2 or 3 tries for each bite till you get it down.  Will, loves to eat.  You reach for anything, and even when you make faces will go back for second and third bites, just to be sure whether or not it was really as bad as you thought at first.  The only thing that time hasn't convinced you that you really do like after all is grits, which you steadfastly refuse and spit out.  You have both had applesauce, avocado, sweet potatoes, squash, bananas, and mashed potatoes (though you both seem to prefer bake potato with sour cream).

(It is now 11:22, and I think I just managed to put you back in your bed Jon.  Will immediately scooted back up against you, but now Kate is fake crying in an attempt to get me to let her get up or go elsewhere so I guess we'll see how long you stay asleep this time.)  In other news, Will, you now have your first two teeth.  Ruth first felt them on Wednesday, Abigail's birthday, and I thought I did too.  Your daddy on the other hand just said, he's heard that before.  By Friday we could definitely feel one and by Sunday it was in, but the gum was swollen back up over the second tooth.  By the following Wednesday, Sept. 1st, the second one could again be felt, and by Sunday it was all the way in this time.  Daddy says maybe you'll go back to sleeping now.  I personally feel like the two of you must plan it this way, because by accident and sheer chance you should at least occasionally sleep at the same time during the day?!

The best part though is the way that you continue to discover each other.  You will reach for each other, grab and grin at one another when I hold you both.  You will both roll on Daddy before becoming distracted and fooling with each other.  Daddy fussed at Jon just last night for pulling Will's hair, not that you seemed to mind at all Will.  I told him he was starting awful early teaching you all to wrestle like the others do.  You sit together and either take toys back and forth or seem to really look at each other.  Anytime we expect the two of you to just start your own conversation with each other.  In fact, often when you aren't in the same room, you will holler for each other, the first time was at Church when Daddy and I both had you for foot-washing, so we were sitting apart.  Memaw called you dueling banjos.

We are so very thankful that the Lord blessed us with you both, even if your Daddy tells all the random strangers that ask, that he recommends one baby at a time, not twins.  Every day you help me to embrace the joy in the chaos, and let go of my perfectionism, and learn to be more flexible.  I'm not always happy with this even if it is a good thing to grow and change.  I have thought for a long time now, that the Lord gives us children that challenge us and force us to be better people - of course that doesn't stop me from telling your Daddy that obviously the Lord thought HE needed two at once to accomplish that, not me. Ha!

We love you, and thank God for you, but I'm still praying that you don't end up in bed with us tonight.
Love,
Momma