In the last few months, we have received word of three different couples that we know, who have left the Church.  It has been discouraging and demoralizing to say the least.  We have known others who have left, we have had family members leave the Church.  None of my brothers are still in the Church today.  We have known those who have been treated badly by other members and left the Church hurt and discouraged.  We have known those who have been unwilling to live a life becoming of a Church member and had to be excluded.  We have known those who fall away because it isn't the most important thing in their lives.  We have known those who no longer believe the things that we hold dear.  We have known those who no longer feel that the Church has anything to offer their family.  Sometimes they leave the Church for another order of people, sometimes they leave organized religion all together, sometimes they just leave.

I think we know how sad a situation it is.  How they out on something precious even if they don't recognize it.  How much it leaves their natural family in the Church heartbroken.  But do we stop and consider what ripples of discouragement and pain it causes the Church as a whole.  I'm afraid too often, we think our actions don't affect others, or maybe we do recognize it, but don't feel like it matters.  I know I feel like I don't really matter to anyone outside of my own little family, and I'm guilty of thinking I then have no meaningful impact on others no matter what I do.

These three couples.  One couple I have known as long as I can remember, since I was a child.  While we played together as kids we also use to love to talk about the sermons we heard.  I felt like while we might disagree on the best way to apply scripture in our lives at times, that they would always be in the Church.  Another couple, I have known all my married life, and Gary has known longer.  At one time we were very close, largely due to our bond in the Church.  The final couple, we have both known for a long time, and though not super close, we have looked up to and admired them as Church members, people, and parents for a long time.  Some of these people were deacons or elders, some were the children of preachers.  All of them were people that we once thought couldn't be moved.

Gary and I laid in bed last night, talking late into the night about the heartbreak their leaving has caused.  And I have to wonder do they have any idea, just how much they will be missed?  How much their fellowship meant?  The sense of loss they leave behind?  Then I thought, if this is so vexing and grieving to us, how much more so must it be to God, when someone who has known the truth throws it aside as not worth the cost, or in favor of something else.  It brought to mind the following verses...

"Let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering; (for he is faithful that promised;) And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching. For if we sin wilfully after that we have received the knowledge of the truth, there remaineth no more sacrifice for sins, But a certain fearful looking for of judgment and fiery indignation, which shall devour the adversaries. He that despised Moses' law died without mercy under two or three witnesses:  Of how much sorer punishment, suppose ye, shall he be thought worthy, who hath trodden under foot the Son of God, and hath counted the blood of the covenant, wherewith he was sanctified, an unholy thing, and hath done despite unto the Spirit of grace? " - Hebrews 10:23 -29

This isn't about their eternal salvation, God's children are his children no matter what they do in this life.  He didn't need our help to save us, and he doesn't need our help to keep us.  It is about the joy and fellowship they could have with him and his saints here, and how we feel that loss.  Gary said, it should serve as a reminder that anyone can be lead away.  And how it makes him wish that he could tell each couple, younger and older than us, members that are graduating high school and going out into the world, older stayed members, that he wanted to tell them all to hold the line.  You affect far more than you know.  There are blessings in this walk, both for you and for those around you.  Don't leave off.  We kinda laughed as a Captain America quote came to mind, about doing what is right,

Doesn't matter if the whole country decides that something wrong is something right. ... When the mob and the press and the whole world tell you to move, your job is to plant yourself like a tree beside the river of truth, and tell the whole world -- "No, YOU move."

The quote was inspired by an older one by Mark Twain, but it is my belief that they both had Psalms 1:3 in mind, someone who thinks on the things of God and tries to honor and follow him, "And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper."  I wish ever single member of the Church could truely grasp, that you matter to the Lord and those around you, your walk matters, and when you turn away it is heartbreaking to more than you know.

Will and Jon,

Soon, I will need to write you separate letters as you are getting more and more active and starting to show more of your own little quirks.  Today, we went to see Sis. Katie and Leah for the first time, at just a few weeks old, she is heavier than you were when we went home, Jon, but it doesn't seem like you were ever that little.  It is amazing just how much you grow and change in such a short time.  You both scout and roll around.  Finally tummy time doesn't seem so terrible to the two of you especially if you have each other or a sibling in the floor to talk to you.  You both can for short periods push up and lift your stomach off the ground.  You are both such strong boys.

Will you have become such a flirt.  You didn't smile as early as Jon, but you smile far more than he does.  You grin at everyone with that big open mouth and we can't help but smile back.  Jon you are more talkative than Will is.  You sound like a little dinosaur, when you go "rawr rawr, rawr," and grin and wait for me to repeat it back.  Will's favorite toy is the baby mirror.  You seem to find the other fellow great fun to talk to and try to eat.  I don't know if you think it is a toy, another baby, or your twin when you see yourself, but you do like to smile and babble to yourself.  Jon's favorite toy is definitely his glowworm seahorse.  You can be fussing up a storm and we can turn that thing on and hand it to you, and it seems to solve a world of problems.

You have stretched your feedings out in the last month.  The doctor got me all paranoid because Will you dropped from the 9% to the 5%, and Jon is still hanging out at the 1%.  But you know what.  You are both growing and thriving, you both are still meeting milestones, you both look healthy.  So I decided to stick with my gut (and the science) and wait a while longer about starting solids.  You tend to eat about 5 to 6 times a day now, stretching 4 to 5 hours in the day, with shorter breaks in the evenings.  I'm making peace with not having much time to myself for my bible study and planning time for now.  I still nurse you together at times, but it is getting more and more difficult, you both have been in the habit of holding hands while I nurse you, but you are adding in kneeing each other and grabbing at each other so that you spend almost as much time playing and dripping milk as you do actually eating.

Nights are going much better too.  The sleep sacks in part have done wonders in that department, because you aren't waking yourselves up squirming out of the covers.  In the last week we have moved you both into the crib in your room.  We are still having some late nights, but most of the time we are able to get you both down between 11 and midnight.  Daddy gives you a bath and I nurse you one at a time.  Will first because you are easier to get down.  You almost always nurse off to sleep, but even if you don't, as long as you have that milk drunk look to you I can lay you down and you will go off to sleep on your own.  It's a real blessing.  You don't even wake up Jon if he happens to make it down before you.  Jon, you still fight sleep but usually nursing, sometimes followed by rocking and patting gets you out.  But I have to be sure you are really asleep before I try to put you down, or you will have none of it.  For the most part you both sleep until early morning.  Will is often ready for breakfast between 5 and 6:30 but then goes back to sleep in our bed for a few more hours.  Jon, you sleep longer but by 6:30 to 8 you are up, and after nursing are ready to talk and smile and play with your siblings for several hours.

Despite sleeping better at night, you both are still lousy nappers.  You never sleep at the same time during the day, and even when you do it is almost impossible to put you down or get you to nap without being held.  It is making the school week a marathon that leaves me thankful that it's Friday and ready to crash over the weekend.

Perhaps the most exciting development has been you trying to crawl, William.  At the homeschool convention, one afternoon, I had just finished washing my hair, when Daddy called, "Will's crawling."  I told him you weren't, and he insisted no, you really were but didn't take any video.  Twice now, you have managed to pull your elbows together under your chest and push with your toes to rock and fall forward.  Then you pull your arms back up and put them together and repeat the process.  At the hotel you inched all the way across a king sized bed that way.  Here at home once you have managed to cross your blanket in the floor that way.  I'm not ready for you two to be movers and shakers, but I am watching your little personalities blossom.

On that note, there was one other development this month, we discovered that the two of you are indeed identical twins.  I was just sure that you were fraternal twins like your uncles, and so despite the fact that you look so much alike I was a little surprised.  I'm a little sad for you because some people seem to view identical twins as if they are the same person in two different bodies, and as your mother I want everyone to see how unique and special you each are.  On the other hand, the more I read about identical twins and the science that makes it possible, the more amazing it becomes that there can even be such a thing.  It makes the two of you seem even more miraculous, even more of a blessing.  Nevertheless, we love you both dearly and no matter how others out in the world view you, in our home you are both loved for the two special people that you are.  (But that doesn't mean that I'm going to quit dressing you both and your much older brother in the same clothes for Church for as long as I can get away with it.)

We love you,
Momma